and Poseidon.
The temple is still there. If you go, you can see the marks left by Poseidon’s trident where he struck the rock to make the saltwater spring. There are probably still olive trees around, too. But I doubt you’ll see any horses.
After that, Poseidon got a little obsessed with finding a city to sponsor, but he didn’t have any luck. He fought with Hera for the city of Argos. Hera won. He fought with Zeus for the island of Aegina. Zeus won. He fought with Helios for the city of Corinth and almost won, but Zeus said, “No, you guys split it. Helios, you can have the main city and the acropolis. Poseidon—you see that little skinny strip of land next to the city? You can have that.”
Poseidon just kept getting shafted—or lightning-bolted, or olive-treed. The more times it happened, the crankier he got.
This was bad, because when Poseidon got touchy, he was more likely to punish whoever he thought was insulting him.
For instance, he was very proud of these fifty sea spirits called the Nereids, whose beauty was known throughout the world. They had long, flowing hair as dark as midnight, sea-green eyes, and gossamer white dresses that billowed around them in the water. Everyone knew they were absolute knockouts, and having them in his domain was something that delighted Poseidon, kind of like living in a town with a championship football team.
Anyway, this mortal queen named Cassiopeia down in North Africa—she started bragging about how she was way more beautiful than the Nereids.
Poseidon had no patience for that nonsense. He summoned up a flesh-eating, blood-drinking sea serpent about a thousand feet long, with a mouth that could swallow a mountain, and he sent it to terrorize the coast of Africa. The monster raged up and down, devouring ships, making waves that sank villages, and bellowing so loudly no one could get any sleep.
Finally, to stop the attacks, Cassiopeia agreed to sacrifice her own daughter, Andromeda, to the sea monster. Like, Oh, yeah, my bad. I shouldn’t have bragged. Here, you can kill my innocent daughter!
In case you’re worried, my dad didn’t actually let that happen. He allowed a hero to rescue Andromeda and kill the sea monster (which is a whole other story), but even after Cassiopeia died, Poseidon never forgot her insult. He put her in the night sky as a constellation, and because she had lied about being more beautiful than the Nereids, she always appeared to be spinning backward.
She’s a stupid-looking constellation, too.
After that, the Nereids were grateful to Poseidon for upholding their honor. Maybe that was his plan all along. You can’t beat having fifty beautiful women thinking you’re awesome.
Most of the Nereids would’ve been happy to marry Poseidon, but one Nereid avoided him, because she was shy and didn’t ever want to get hitched. Naturally, she was the one who caught Poseidon’s eye.
Her name was Amphitrite, and her idea of paradise was living a quiet life at the bottom of the sea with no gods calling her up for dates or trying their cheesy pickup lines on her when she went to the underwater mall.
Unfortunately, Amphitrite was gorgeous. The more she tried to avoid the gods, the more they pursued her. Her black hair was pinned back in a net of pearls and silk. Her eyes were as dark as mocha. She had a kind smile and a beautiful laugh. Usually she dressed in a simple white gown, her only piece of jewelry a circlet of polished red crab claws across her brow—which doesn’t strike me as very attractive, but I guess it was fashionable among the Nereids.
Poseidon tried everything to win her heart: saltwater taffy, a serenade of whale songs, a bouquet of sea cucumbers, a Portuguese man-of-war festooned with pretty red ribbons. Amphitrite refused all his advances. Whenever he got too close, she blushed and swam away.
Finally she got so spooked that she fled for good. Poseidon searched for her everywhere, with no luck. He began to think that he’d never see her again. His heart sank deeper than a navy submersible. He moped around his palace, crying like a humpback whale, confusing all the sea mammals, and giving the giant squids migraines.
Eventually the sea creatures elected this god named Delphin to go talk to Poseidon and see what was wrong. Delphin was the immortal king of dolphins and a good friend of the sea god’s. What did Delphin look like? A dolphin. Duh.
So Delphin swam into the throne room