what happened. By the time she figures it out…too late! Persephone will be yours. You’ll have plenty of time to convince the young lady to stay with you in the Underworld.”
Hades was starting to have doubts about Zeus’s wisdom. “Um, you’re sure this is a good idea?”
“Totally!” Zeus said.
Hades chewed his lip. The whole kidnapping thing seemed a little risky. He wasn’t sure if Persephone would actually like being abducted, but he didn’t know much about women. Maybe Zeus was right.
(For the record: NO, HE WASN’T.)
“There’s one problem, my lord,” Hades said. “Persephone is never alone. She’s either with Demeter or with some nymph or goddess chaperones. How can I abduct her in secret? Even if I use my invisibility helmet, I can’t turn her invisible or stop her from screaming.”
Zeus’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Leave that to me. Go get your chariot ready.”
Zeus waited until Demeter was busy doing some agricultural stuff on the far side of the world—like ripening the barley in Libya, or something. I’m not sure what.
Anyway, Persephone was left in the care of her nymph chaperones. Usually that worked out fine, but the nymphs weren’t really cut out to be bodyguards. They could be easily distracted, and so could Persephone.
As usual, the girls went out into the meadows. They spent the morning exploring the hills and having splash-fights in the river. After a nice lazy lunch, letting their dresses dry in the sunlight, Persephone decided to go pick some flowers.
“Don’t wander too far!” one of the nymphs called.
“I won’t,” Persephone promised.
She wasn’t worried. The world was her playground! Everyone loved her, and besides, what could possibly go wrong while she was picking flowers in a meadow?
The nymphs were sleepy and warm and full from lunch, and so they lay down for a nap.
Persephone roamed the hillside until she’d gathered an entire bouquet from the nearest rosebushes. For some reason, the roses didn’t even have thorns. Their intoxicating smell made Persephone giddy. She traipsed a little farther away and spotted a whole field of violets.
“Oh, pretty!”
She wandered through the violets, picking the best ones and dropping the roses, because they now seemed pale in comparison.
Well, you can probably see where this is going, but Persephone was clueless. She didn’t realize Zeus was causing these flowers to grow—making each batch more colorful and fragrant than the last, leading Persephone farther and farther away from her chaperones.
So how could Zeus, a sky god, make flowers grow? Dunno. Best guess: he still had some pull with Gaea the Earth Mother, even though she was asleep. I’m thinking Zeus could occasionally summon her power to make things happen on the earth—maybe not huge things, like creating mountains. But making flowers grow? Not a big deal.
Persephone wandered from flower patch to flower patch, murmuring, “Ooh, pretty! Ooh, pretty!” as she picked her favorites.
Before she realized it, she was miles away from her sleeping nymph friends. She meandered into a secluded valley filled with hyacinths.
She was reaching down to pick a beautiful red one when the ground rumbled. A chasm opened at her feet, and four black horses pulling a massive chariot thundered into the sunlight. The driver was dressed in dark flowing robes. He wore iron gloves, with a huge sword at his side and a whip in his hand. His face was covered with an elaborate bronze helmet engraved with images of death and torture.
In retrospect, Hades wondered if it was such a good idea to wear his helmet of terror on a first date, but by then it was too late.
Persephone screamed and fell backward into the grass.
She should have run, but she was in shock. She couldn’t even fathom what was happening. Everything had always revolved around her, gone her way. She couldn’t be in danger. But she was pretty sure she hadn’t wished for a demonic-looking guy in a giant black chariot to come and trample her hyacinths.
Truth be told, she’d occasionally had daydreams about some handsome young man sweeping her off her feet. She and the nymphs had spent a lot of time giggling about that.
But this was not what she’d envisioned.
Hades took off his helm. His complexion was even paler than usual. He had a bad case of helmet-hair. He was sweating and nervous and blinking like he had something in his eyes.
“I am Hades,” he said in a squeaky voice. “I love you.”
Persephone screamed again, much louder.
Not knowing what else to do, Hades grabbed her arm, pulled her into the chariot, and spurred his horses.