the blankets of his cradle and began to strum.
Apollo listened, spellbound. He didn’t dare interrupt until Hermes was through.
“What—where—how—”
“Oh, this?” Hermes said casually. “I call it a lyre. I invented it last night.”
His fingers flew across the strings, creating a waterfall of beautiful notes.
“I must have it,” Apollo said. “I’m the god of music. Please! I—I must have it!”
“Oh, but you’re going to throw me into Tartarus,” Hermes said sadly. “I’ll need my lyre to cheer me up down there in the dark.”
“Forget Tartarus,” Apollo said. “Give me the lyre, and we’ll call it even.”
“Hmm,” Hermes said. “And I get to keep the rest of these cows?”
“What?!” Apollo demanded.
Hermes played another melody, as bright as sunlight through the trees.
“Yes, yes!” Apollo said. “Fine, keep the cows. Just give me the lyre.”
“Wonderful!” Hermes tossed the lyre to Apollo.
Then the baby god pulled out his double flute, which he’d decided to call a syrinx. He started playing that, and Apollo’s mouth hung open.
“Don’t tell me you invented that, too!”
“Hmm?” Hermes paused. “Oh, yes. Just a little something I thought up after dinner. It’s for sale…for the right price.”
Hermes played a little Mozart and some One Direction, and Apollo cried, “I must have it! The girls will go wild for that! I’ll offer you…well, I’ve got some nice magic items back at my apartment: a herald’s staff I’m not using, some flying shoes, and a sword. You can have all three!”
Hermes considered that. “Throw in the power of prophecy, and it’s a deal.”
Apollo scowled. “I can’t do that. Prophecy is my gig. Tell you what: I’ll give you the power to tell fortunes with dice. Nothing fancy, but it’s a good party trick, and you can make some decent money that way.”
“Deal.”
“Deal!”
So Apollo and Hermes ended up becoming good friends. Apollo forgot about the cattle thievery. He didn’t even mind that he’d totally been ripped off on the price of the lyre and the syrinx flute. Hermes got his own herd of cattle, which was how he became the god of cattle herders. He got a pair of winged sandals that made him faster than any other god. He got a sword made from adamantine and gold, with a blade so sharp, it could cut through almost anything. He got a herald’s staff, like human messengers carried when they traveled from city to city to show they had diplomatic immunity, except that Hermes’s staff was magical. Normally, a herald’s staff had two white ribbons twined around it. Hermes’s staff had two living snakes instead. It also had the power to put anyone to sleep, or to wake them up, which was helpful to a god of thieves. The staff became known as a caduceus—just because I knew you needed another complicated word to remember.
Oh, and the old dude, Battus, who told on Hermes? Hermes flew back to the farm and turned Battus into a pillar of stone. Battus is still standing there overlooking the road, wishing he’d never seen that stupid cattle-thieving baby.
Hermes grew into an adult (in a couple of days, being a god, and all). Usually he appeared as a handsome teenaged guy with curly black hair and just the beginnings of a wispy moustache. Of course, being a god, he could appear any way he wanted to.
He became the messenger of Zeus, and sometimes he even did secret dirty deeds for the boss man. That was Hermes’s favorite part of the job!
Case in point: One time Zeus fell in love with a river nymph named Io. (Yes, that was her name. Just I and O. I guess she came from a poor family that couldn’t afford consonants.) She was amazingly beautiful, but Zeus had the hardest time convincing her to go out with him. She always hung with a bunch of her nymph friends, so he couldn’t ambush her. She totally ignored his texts. He sent her flowers and candy. He put on a beautiful thunderstorm to impress her. He worked at it for weeks and weeks and got totally obsessed.
Finally she agreed to meet him alone in the woods, and Zeus was like, “YES!”
Unfortunately, Hera got wind of what was going on. Maybe one of the other nymphs told her.
Anyway, Zeus showed up in the clearing and Io was waiting for him in a shimmering white dress. She smiled and said, “Hey, handsome.”
Zeus nearly whimpered with excitement, but just as he took Io’s hand, he heard a familiar voice in the woods. “Zeus!” Hera screamed. “Where are you, you