back to Tartarus—but this time as jailers to watch over the Titans. The Hundred-Handed Ones didn’t really mind. At least now they were the ones with the whips.
The Elder Cyclopes went to work for the gods. They constructed a workshop at the bottom of the sea near the island of Lemnos, where there was lots of volcanic heat to power their forges. They made tons of special weapons and other fun collectibles, and had a good health package with a week of paid vacation every year.
As for the gods, Zeus invited them all to live with him on Mount Olympus. Each of them had a throne in the main hall, so even though Zeus was in charge, it was more like a council than a dictatorship. They called themselves the Olympians.
Well…I say they were all welcome in Olympus: but Hades, not so much. The guy had always creeped out his siblings. Now that he was lord of the Underworld, he seemed to bring doom and darkness with him wherever he went.
“You understand,” Zeus told him privately, “we can’t have an Underworld throne up here on Mount Olympus. It would make the other gods uncomfortable, and the skulls and black stone really wouldn’t go with the decor.”
“Oh, sure,” grumbled Hades. “I see how it is.”
Anyway, that’s how things got started with the gods on Mount Olympus. Eventually there would be twelve thrones in the council chamber, and a whole bunch of other gods who didn’t have thrones.
The Olympians figured that now they could settle down and rule the world in peace.
There was only one problem. Remember that the Earth Mother Gaea was taking a nap all this time? Well, eventually she would wake up. And when she got home and found out her favorite kids, the Titans, had been thrown into Tartarus, Zeusie was going to have some explaining to do.
But that’s a tale for another day.
Now it’s time to meet the gods, up close and personal. Just be warned, some of their stories might make you feel like Kronos after a big glass of mustard nectar.
ZEUS
WHY IS ZEUS ALWAYS FIRST?
Seriously, every book about the Greek gods has to start with this guy. Are we doing reverse alphabetical order? I know he’s the king of Olympus and all—but trust me, this dude’s ego does not need to get any bigger.
You know what? Forget him.
We’re going to talk about the gods in the order they were born, women first. Take a backseat, Zeus. We’re starting with Hestia.
HESTIA CHOOSES BACHELOR NUMBER ZERO
IN SOME WAYS, Hestia was a lot like her mom, Rhea.
She had an honest smile, warm brown eyes, and black hair that framed her face in ringlets. She was gentle and good-natured. She never said a bad word about anybody. If you walked into a party on Mount Olympus, Hestia wouldn’t be the first girl who caught your eye. She wasn’t flashy or loud or crazy. She was more like the goddess next door—sweet and pretty in an unpretentious way. Usually she kept her hair tucked under a linen shawl. She wore plain, modest dresses and never used makeup.
I said earlier that nobody took her seriously, and it’s true the other gods weren’t good about taking her advice. Kronos had swallowed Hestia first, so she’d gotten barfed up last. Because of that, her siblings tended to think of her as the youngest rather than the oldest—the last one to emerge. She was quieter and more peaceful than her siblings, but that didn’t mean they didn’t love her. Like Rhea, Hestia was a hard person not to love.
In one important way, though, Hestia was not like Rhea. Her mom was known for being…well, a mom. The Great Mother. The Ultimate Mama. La Madre Grande.
Hestia wanted nothing to do with being a mom.
She didn’t have a problem with other people’s families. She loved her siblings, and once they started having kids, she loved them, too. Her fondest wish was for the whole Olympian family to get along and spend quality time together around the hearth, chatting or having dinner or playing Twister—really any wholesome activity.
Hestia just didn’t want to get married herself.
If you think about it, you can see why. Hestia had spent years inside Kronos’s gut. She had a very good memory, and could even recall Kronos gulping her down when she was a newborn. She remembered the sound of her mother wailing in despair. Hestia had nightmares that the same thing might happen to her. She didn’t want to get