golden cloud when she happened to spot Zeus (in disguise as a mortal, but Hera could still recognize him) exiting a house in the best part of town.
A moment later, Semele appeared at the door and waved after him. The girl only stood there for a second, but one thing was obvious: she was immensely pregnant.
Hera snarled and muttered to herself, but she couldn’t simply kill the girl outright. Even though Zeus was no-good scumbag, he was a very powerful no-good scumbag. If he found out that Hera had killed one of his girlfriends, he could inflict all sorts of pain and suffering on her. She would have to work through trickery.
Hera floated down to Thebes in her golden cloud and took the form of an old woman. She knocked on Semele’s door, thinking she would pretend to be a beggar or perhaps a traveling saleslady.
Semele opened the door and gasped. “Beroe, is that you?”
Hera had no idea what the girl was talking about, but she played along. “Why, yes, my dear! It is I, Beroe, your, um—”
“My nursemaid from childhood!”
“Exactly!”
“Oh, you have aged so!”
“Thanks,” Hera muttered.
“But I would still know you anywhere. Please, come in!”
Hera got a tour of the house. She was outraged to find it was just as nice, if not better, than her own apartment on Mount Olympus.
She asked innocently how Semele came by such an amazing mansion, which seemed elaborate even for a princess.
“Oh, it’s my boyfriend,” Semele said, beaming with pride. “He’s so awesome, he gives me anything I want. Look at this necklace he just brought me.”
She showed Hera a jade, gold, and ruby pendant that was much nicer than anything Zeus had ever given Hera.
“How lovely.” Hera resisted the urge to punch the princess in her perfect teeth. “So, who is this guy? Is he local?”
“Oh…I’m not supposed to say.”
“But I’m your old nursemaid, Beryl!” Hera said.
“Beroe,” Semele said.
“That’s what I meant! Surely you can tell me.”
Semele was bursting with excitement. She’d been dying to tell someone, so she didn’t take much convincing.
“Well…it’s Zeus,” she confessed. “The lord of the sky. The king of creation.”
Hera stared at her, feigning disbelief. Then she sighed in sympathy. “Oh, my poor girl. My poor, poor girl.”
Semele blinked. That wasn’t the reaction she’d been expecting. “But…I’m dating the king of the universe!”
Hera snorted. “So he says. How many guys have used that line before? Like, every one of them! How do you know he’s actually a god, and not just some rich old creep pretending to be a god?”
Semele’s face reddened. “But he said he was Zeus. And he seems very…godly.”
“Has he done anything to prove it?”
“Uh, well, no.”
Hera pretended to think about the problem. “This is the father of your child. You should be sure. You said he would do anything for you?”
“Yes! He promised!”
“Get him to swear,” Hera advised. “Then ask him to appear before you the way he appears before his wife Hera—in his true godly form. That’s the only way you’ll know for sure.”
Semele pondered this. “Sounds dangerous.”
“Not if he truly loves you! Are you not as good as Hera?”
“Of course.”
“And as beautiful?”
“More beautiful. Zeus told me so.”
Hera clenched her jaw so hard, she cracked an immortal tooth. “There you go, then. If Hera can handle Zeus’s godly form, then surely you can too! I hope he really is Zeus, my dear. Honestly! But you must be sure. Your child’s future is on the line. When is he coming back?”
“Very soon, actually.”
“Well, look at the time!” Hera said. “Wonderful catching up, but I should go. I have…old-lady things to do.”
Hera left. An hour later, Zeus returned to Semele’s house.
“Hey, babe,” he said as he walked in.
Immediately he noticed something was wrong. Semele didn’t run up and hug him and kiss him as usual. She was sulking on her couch with her arms crossed across her pregnant belly.
“Uh…what’s up?” Zeus asked.
Semele pouted. “You said you’d do anything for me.”
“And I will! You want another necklace?”
“No,” she said. “I want a different favor. Only one thing will make me happy.”
Zeus chuckled. Maybe Semele wanted a dress this time, or a pair of those new things the humans had just invented…what were they called…shoes?
“Anything you want,” Zeus said.
“Promise?”
He spread his arms magnanimously. “I swear on the River Styx. Ask me any favor, and it’s yours.”
“Good.” She allowed herself a smile. “I want you to appear before me in your true godly form, the way you appear to Hera.”
Zeus sucked in his breath. “Oh…bad idea, babe.