guess if I sold my restaurant today. Maybe. I bite the inside of my cheek. “You’re not paying me back, Becca.”
I let his words sink in. They dig at my pride. I don’t need his help. Fuck. Yes I do. I have to accept that. But I wish I didn’t.
I’m covered from head to toe. A cream, boatneck cashmere sweater covers my wrists and the bruises on my arms. Dark burgundy yoga pants and a pair of comfy socks cover everything from my hips down. I don’t think I’ve ever worn such luxurious clothing. It looks the same as some clothing I have and it’s definitely my style, but it feels like heaven.
I haven’t met Clara yet, but I like her. Or at least her taste in clothes. Although the scrap of material she calls underwear is not my taste. It’s cute though. Lacy and delicate. Dom would shred it easily. My thighs clench thinking of him ripping through it and taking me again. I bite my bottom lip and scold myself. I know I’m trying to distract myself from everything that happened today, but that kind of behavior wouldn’t be wise.
The doctor left Dom my pills. I took another codeine and a Valium and I’m not in much pain at all now, other than my ribs being a bit sore as I make my way down the stairs. I have to wince through the pain, but other than that, there’s nothing. I feel too relaxed. I wish I hadn’t taken the Valium; it makes me tired.
A small smile plays on my lips as I hear Jax laughing. We round the corner of the hall to a large open living room. And there he is, with a monster truck in hand, standing on the back of the sofa, about to push it down a ramp of cushions. It warms my heart all the way down to my toes. My little man. Relief floods through me. Thank God.
In that moment I feel so much gratitude for Dom. Emotions well up in my chest, and I push them away. My hand reaches for Dom’s, and I squeeze. I don’t know why. But it’s all I can do. He gives my hand a squeeze back and looks at me with curiosity.
I know I’m in this shit because of him. I’m painfully aware of how fucking stupid I was. And even more so of how Rick is why I’m in this shit in the first place. But he didn’t have to help me. He didn’t have to make sure Jax was safe. He didn’t have to come rescue me. I can’t fucking help the tears running down my face. It’s just too much for me to handle. Too much for me to accept. I push my back against the wall and try to calm myself. Jax is just around the corner, after all; I don’t want him to see me like this.
“You alright, doll?” Dom brushes my tears away with his thumb. He looks like he doesn’t know what to do. And that makes me laugh. I must look fucking crazy. Crying out of nowhere and then laughing at him. Maybe I am crazy at this point. Maybe this was all I could take. Judging by the look on Dom’s face, he may be thinking I’ve lost it, too.
“I’m okay. I could be better, but I’m okay,” I finally answer. I wipe my tears and look down at my fingers to make sure I haven’t fucked up the concealer. Nothing. They’re clean. This is some good shit to be able to withstand tears.
I push myself off the wall, and to my surprise, Dom wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. His embrace is warm and comforting. I shouldn’t like it so much. He’s practically a stranger and definitely a dangerous man. I lean into him knowing all of that. I just need it.
As soon as I round the corner and Jax catches a glimpse of me, I kneel down and open my arms for him.
“Mommy!” he yells out, dropping the truck and running to me. It hurts when he slams into my chest, but I don’t care. It feels so good just to hold him. I kiss his forehead and just hold him until he starts to push me away.
“Do you see trucks?” He runs back over to the pile of cushions and collects a truck to hold it up for me to see. “So big, mommy!” I can’t speak;