sure a shrink would tell me I’m insane. And maybe I am.
Being here in this restaurant with these people emphasizes how fucked up this situation is. He’s told me about each of them. His brother Dom, and Dom's wife Becca are on the right side of the table. I know Dom’s a professor and that Becca owns this restaurant. His father is seated at the head of the table on the far end, and Vince's mother is seated next to Becca. His cousin Joey’s here. I know he has a son, but I don’t see him here. An older man is sitting next to him, that must be Uncle Enzo. And then there’s Tommy and Anthony, Vince's cousins, sitting together on the left side of the table. Looking at the two of them reminds me of my memory. Of them looking at me like I’m a threat. I still don’t know what I did or what I saw. I just remember Vince pinning me down and them staring at me like I had to die. My palms grow sweaty and I wipe them on the sides of my dress.
“You want a drink, Elle?” Tommy asks me from across the room. He gives me a smile as he takes a sip of his wine.
“Please,” I respond as normally as I can, given the situation and my nerves, and take a step closer to the table.
“Everyone, this is my girl Elle. Ma, no questions. Don’t scare her off.” Everyone laughs at Vince and I pretend to laugh also. But fuck me, my nerves are shot.
“I’m so happy to meet you dear,” Vince’s mother, Linda, says. “Dante has filled me in on how you two met.” I struggle to keep the smile plastered on my face. I’m certain there’s a hint of truth in whatever he’s told her.
“I’m a lucky girl,” I say back as sweetly as possible. I may be scared and intimidated, but I want them to like me. Is that so wrong? If they like me, then maybe Vince will trust me more. Maybe he won’t tie me up every single time he leaves the house. I wonder if I would leave though, if given the choice. Should I leave him? I’m not sure I would. Maybe I really am fucked up in the head.
“There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s the lucky one,” Dom says to my left as Vince pulls out a chair for me. I smooth out my dress and take a seat.
“So, what do you do, Elle?” Becca asks. The swell of her pregnant belly touches the table even though she’s leaning all the way back in her chair. I sure as fuck can’t answer that question. What do I do? I do your brother-in-law. That’s not an appropriate answer. Let's see, so far I’ve quit school, which essentially ended the career I’ve been busting my ass for years at. I don’t have a job, and I’m not sure I’m going to get one. I’ve been painting which I love, and Vince thinks I should sell online. But I’m nowhere near confident in my work to even think about showing it to anyone. Not yet. Maybe someday.
I decide to circumvent the question and change the subject. “Oh my goodness! You look beautiful. Congratulations, you two.” It’s easy to compliment her. She really is radiant with her swollen tummy. “When are you due?” I ask to continue pushing the conversation along.
“Two months.” Dom answers for Becca as he rubs her stomach. The look in his eyes is one of pure devotion. I find myself reaching for Vince’s hand. I wonder if he’ll look at me that way when I’m pregnant with his child. If. If I ever get pregnant with his child. Again, if I could run, maybe I would. I know I’m not pregnant now though. I just got my period before we came out for dinner. For some reason that hurts. Maybe I could justify staying with him if I was carrying his child, but I’m not.
“We’re all so excited for another baby in the family,” Linda says with a smile on her face. “Three grandbabies. I’d love a dozen of them!” Dante rolls his eyes, and Dom snorts.
“You'd better get on Clara and this one then,” Becca points at me, “because after our little girl, I’m getting Dom fixed.” The table roars with laughter, but my face heats with embarrassment and my fingers nervously tighten on Vince’s hand. It’s all too real.
“Damn, Becca,