never planned for this. I never even considered children or a life where I settled down. I just didn’t think it was for me. That kind of life was for my sister.
My hand hesitantly touches my belly, and tears well in my eyes. She would have loved to have a baby. But not with a man like Tommy.
I stand at the sink and turn on the water to gargle it and try to feel better.
I can’t be far along. The thought enters my mind quickly, that I could leave and he’d never know. He’d most likely never find out. Even if he did, he’s not the type of man who’d want a child. Right? If he found me, if he ever thought to look for me and found me with his child, I don't know what he'd do.
The thought makes my chest hurt even more. I'm bringing a child into this world and I don't even know if the man I think I love would want either of us.
I've felt strong my entire life. But right now, all I feel is weak.
I slowly stand and try to calm my breathing.
I can't just leave. I have to tell him.
If he doesn't want this baby, I'll leave and never come back. But if he does...I pause my steps and lean against the wall. If he does, I don't know what I'll do. I can't stay. I doubt he'd ever leave his familia. As if they'd give him a choice. I close my eyes and shake my head as I walk to the bed, gripping the locket in my hand. I lie back and try to think of what my sister would do. I know what she'd do. She'd tell him she was pregnant. And she'd move on with her life, loving her child. She may have never seen herself as strong. But she was. She was so fucking strong for always doing the right thing and sticking to what she believed in.
“I need you.” My fingers slowly scroll over the locket's tiny engravings. “I need you right now.” I whisper my words in a pained voice as tears slowly roll down my cheeks.
Do the right thing. That's what she'd tell me. She'd smile. She'd make sure this baby was born into a life surrounded by nothing but love.
And I will, too. I won't settle for anything else. I wipe the tears away and get my shit together. I breathe in with a long inhalation, and breathe out just as long.
Holy fuck, I'm really pregnant. An hour ago I felt like I had nothing, and no one. And now, everything has changed.
Tonya
The walk up to Tommy's apartment is difficult. Every step toward him brings me closer to knowing whether or not he'll want me and this baby. My hand settles on my tummy as I get to the first landing and continue walking up the stairs. The outcome is most likely going to kill a piece of my soul. He can't be with me, and a man like him doesn't want to settle down with a baby. But it's the right thing to tell him. So I have to do this.
With my resolve firm, I brace myself to walk up to his door, but when I look up, my heart freezes in my chest. Vincent Valetti stares back at me with a look of contempt.
I push down all the emotions I'm feeling and school my face. My heart pounds in my chest with fear. I can't die now. Now when I have this life to protect.
“Officer Kelly.” Vince speaks with a hard voice and an even harder expression.
“Miss Kelly, now,” I respond without backing down from his stare. He may be the Don, and he can definitely hurt me, but I know better than to show weakness to men like him.
“Oh, I see. Did you think that'd make it alright for you to cuddle up to my men?” he asks.
The way he says it makes me want to knee this prick in his groin. I may not be in a committed relationship, but I'm not a whore. And what he's implying pisses me off.
“No, I didn't. And if my slut memory is correct, I've only been fucking Tommy, so you can shove that bullshit right back up your ass.”
He narrows his eyes and grinds his teeth. He's looking at me like he's not sure what to do with me. After a long moment of neither of us backing down he says, “I didn't