my fear seems to paralyze my body. I’m simply moving to his commands in order to survive. I have to admit him saying I was “seated perfectly” gives me a small thrill. And I fucking hate that. I wish he didn’t have this affect on me.
“Open,” he commands, and I do as he says. He gently places the chunk of tuna in my mouth and as he does, my stomach grumbles from hunger.
He smiles down at me and dips another piece in the sauce. “I knew you were hungry, kitten.” He looks at me again with curiosity, holding the piece over the plate. “Do you like it?”
My heart beats slowly as I search his face. I wonder if he’s toying with me. If I admit that I like it, he might take it away and make me starve.
“I’d like you to answer me quickly and honestly, Catherine.” His voice holds a note of admonishment, and I feel compelled to apologize.
“I’m sorry, s--” Sir is on the tip of my tongue, but I pause as I realize I don’t know what to call him.
“Anthony,” he says, answering my unspoken question. “No need to be sorry.” His other hand grips my chin to get my attention. “You’re learning. I can be reasonable so long as you’re making an effort to obey. Is that understood?” he asks.
“Yes, Anthony.”
“Good.” His fingers stroke my jaw briefly. “Did you like that?” he asks.
“Yes...Anthony.” It feels odd saying his name again so soon. But I imagine it’s what he wants.
He smirks at me, the fucking bastard. “You don’t have to say it every time.” He holds the fish out and I open my mouth obediently.
It’s so fucking good. It’s not fair that I am fucking loving this fish. It’s sweet, with a hint of spice. I’d eat this every day if I could. My eyes widen. He knew I’d like it. He smirks at me again as if reading my mind.
“Open,” he says, holding out another piece.
I do as he says. And again and again. His fingers brush against my lips more and more. He puts a piece up to my mouth, and I take it and swallow before I realize his finger is still in front of my face.
“A bit of sauce, suck.” My core heats and stirs as I maintain eye contact and open my mouth. His lips part as he slips his finger slowly into my mouth. I gently suck and massage him with my tongue. His eyes go half-lidded, and his breath comes in pants. And that’s when I push my teeth down. Not hard, but enough that they scrape against him as he slowly pulls his finger free from my mouth. I know it didn’t hurt him, but he got the message.
Once his finger is finally released, he grabs my jaw forcefully. He shoves his thumb into my mouth, tilting my head slightly. I'm forced to remain still, with my neck bent at an awkward angle. “Be a good girl, kitten. I know you could hurt me if you wanted to.” He leans in closer and whispers in my ear. His hot breath sends shivers down my back. “Just remember, I could hurt you too, if I wanted.”
The threat makes me regret my action. My eyes fall, and tears prick the back of them as he releases me. My heart hurts, and anxiety races through me.
“Open.” I hear him give his command, but I can’t. I feel sick to my stomach. I fall back onto my heels and turn away from him. I can’t. I can’t do this. I back away slightly as he moves to the floor, setting the plate on the metal chair with a clink. Tears leak from my eyes.
“Hush, kitten,” he says as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest. “I understand, I do.” He rubs my back gently and it calms me. I lean into his touch, loving the warmth. It’s been so fucking long since I’ve been held. Once I went into hiding, I was always alone in that house. It’s made me weak.
“I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to enjoy this, and I don’t want you to be sad. But I don’t want you to push me either. Not unless you want to be punished.” I bury my head deeper into his chest, trying to resist how everything he’s saying is making me want to play. This isn’t pretend though. There'll be no stopping this once it’s