mean to offend you.”
“Yes you did,” I'm quick to answer.
He grins at me with a twinkle of delight in his eyes and agrees, ”You're right. But I'm generally not fond of cops. Please accept my apology.”
My eyes finally break away from his and I feel like I can breathe. I nod and swallow thickly, looking at Tommy's door.
“You're here to see Tommy, then? You quit to be with him?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No, I quit because I never should have been a cop.”
“You don't think you have what it takes?” he assumes.
“No, I think I'd be a great cop if I had the determination for it. If I had the heart for it. But I don't. I joined for the wrong reason.”
“What reason is that?” He tilts his head as if he's sizing me up. He's going to judge me, just like everyone else. I don't give a fuck, though. They can all judge me if they like, but I'm not going to change for them.
“Because my sister was taken by Petrov. I wanted to find him; I wanted to kill him.”
“So you wanted to know about Petrov?” he asks, and I know exactly what he's thinking. He thinks I was trying to get information out of Tommy. He thinks that's why I was with him. That may have been the reason in the beginning, but that's not why I slept with him. And I hate that Vincent thinks that.
“Yeah,” I answer him, not willing to elaborate.
“And now you've quit?”
“Yes.” He looks at Tommy's door with a pissed-off look. He thinks Tommy told me. I can't let him think that. I don't want Tommy to get shit for it, and I won't have to lie anyway.
“He never told me. Even after we were together and everything happened between us. He never told me, but I think he's dead.” Between us. My walls go down and I have to work real fucking hard not to break down. Maybe it was one-sided, and I just imagined him feeling anything toward me.
“So you think he's dead, so you quit.” Although it's not a question, I know he's asking.
“No. I've had a hunch he's been dead for awhile now. I quit because I realized revenge wasn't the answer. There's always going to be someone to fight. I'm not the person to do it. I need to find another way.”
“Another way to do what?” he asks.
“To let go.” Tears prick at my eyes and I feel so fucking weak. I try to keep my composure and walk closer to Tommy's door. “I just need to tell him something.”
“What do you have to tell him? I'd be happy to relay the message.” He takes a step closer to me, and I instantly take a step back. I don't feel the same sense of security with him as I do with Tommy. I don't think I've ever felt that way about anyone before.
“Tell me,” he says, but I can't.
“I--I can’t.” I’ve never spoken to Vincent Valetti before today. And I have no idea what kind of man he is, or what all he knows about us.
“Is it about police matters, or personal?” he asks.
I stare at the door, not knowing how to answer that. I don't want Tommy to get hurt.
“That’s what I thought. You know that’s not smart, right? A cop, and a man like Tommy?” He shakes his head before continuing. “It's over now, isn't it?”
“I came to tell him something before I leave.” A part of me just wants to tell Vincent so I can leave and avoid the rejection I feel coming.
“Good. It’s a good thing you’re leaving. It’s for the best.”
I look back at him, not sure how to respond. It fucking hurts. All of this is really none of his goddamn business.
He presses his lips into a straight line and then he asks, “You tell anyone about this little arrangement you had with Tommy?”
“No. It’s over, so it doesn’t matter.” The words come out hard, but I stand my ground and maintain eye contact.
Vince rocks on his heels and looks to the left. “Good. So what do you have to tell him?”
“Something that’s none of your concern.” He narrows his eyes, but I don’t care.
“Tommy’s in a bit of hot water right now, sweetie, so you might want to be a little bit more forthcoming.” The way he says it makes my heart stop. I don't want Tommy to get hurt because of me. My mother's words ring in