on me. They’re on Elle.
Her eyes are wide, and her chest rises and falls dramatically. At first I think the loud bang and Tommy cussing scared her. But this is more. This is bad, really fucking bad. I remember right before she woke up in the office. I grind my teeth in anger. He dropped something then too. The loud bang, him cussing. Fuck! Could it really be triggered that easily? She was almost gone. Almost in the clear. Her feet back up with small steps, pushing the door into the wall. Her knuckles turn white, clutching that damn book.
She swallows thickly and then looks at me. Her eyes dart from me, to each of the men in the room who are all staring at her now. She reaches for the knob to the screen door, and lets out a small scream as I pull it shut and pull her into my chest. I back her ass into my crotch and push the front door closed behind us.
Dom looks at Pops, who says something I can't quite make out. Guessing by how fast Dom takes off through the kitchen to the backyard, it must be about getting to Becca. Sure enough, I hear the sliding doors open and slam closed.
No one moves, and the only sound is Elle crying softly. She shakes her head in my arms and I find myself shushing her. She’s not fighting me. But she knows something. She remembered something.
“Sweetheart, tell me what’s wrong,” I say calmly into her ear. She’s facing the dining room. Everyone can see her and I hate that, so I turn her in my arms, but she tries to back away from me. She wants to get out of my arms and I don’t like that. She’s not going anywhere.
“Nothing. Please just let me go.”
I give her a small smile and brush the tears off her cheeks. Her skin is so soft. So perfect. “I can’t do that now, can I? Something’s wrong, and you need to tell me what.”
Her breath comes in chaotically as she frantically looks around the room like she’s trapped. Which she is.
“Sweetheart, you need to calm down.” I try to pet her back to calm her ass down, although I’m not sure what the point of that is.
Tommy comes up to my right side with those fucking pills in his hands, ready to shove them down her throat again. “No! Get that shit out of her face.”
“You sure, Vince?” Fuck. It didn’t work. I’m not doing it again. It didn’t fucking work.
I look around the room and feel like a failure. I failed my Pops, Tommy, and especially Elle. It’s all my fucking fault.
“Please don’t hurt me,” she whispers.
“What do you remember, babe?” I ask.
“Nothing.” She’s quick to answer while shaking her head.
“Don’t lie to me.” My words are cold, and my grip on her tightens. “I’ve got all night sweetheart, but I’d rather you just tell me now.” It hits me in that moment, as I look past her to my Pops, she’s dead. Doesn’t matter what all she remembers. She’s dead.
“I remember,” she gasps and holds the book tighter. She tries to speak again, “the woods.” I wasn’t expecting that.
“What about 'em?” I ask.
“How we,” she swallows and keeps her eyes closed tight, “how you.” She breathes in deep trying to settles her breath, “took me in the woods.”
Oh, fuck that! Anger consumes me and adrenaline rushes through me.
“Took you?” I raise my voice. “As in, fucked you?” She visibly recoils at my anger, and she tries to get out of my arms again. “No, no, sweetheart, that shit did not happen.” This is not fucking happening. Her memory comes back and it’s some shit that makes me a god damned villain. Something I didn’t even do!
“I--” she tries to speak, and then finally meets my eyes. Hers are red-rimmed and filled with tears. “I think I remember.”
“Sweetheart, your memory is wrong. We screwed around a bit, but that’s not what happened in the woods.”
Her eyes look to the wall and then back to me. Her hand raises to her throat. “Did you hurt me?” As she asks, her eyes drift to the faint marks on her wrists, and her eyes widen.
“It’s not what you think.” I try to keep my voice even, but my skin is on fire and I can feel their eyes boring into me, thinking I hurt her.
“No, we didn’t. I know we didn’t. This morning was the first time.”