long. But I want this.
The kids are all in bed now and the men are in the dining room. Anthony left me alone with the wives. I start to answer Elle’s question, but hear a crash of toys from the living room. His aunt, Linda I think, is straightening everything up. I feel weird sitting here not helping. Even though it’s not my mess.
“Should we--” I start to ask.
“No,” Becca answers before I can finish. She’s a bit older than me and she’s a no-nonsense kind of person. “Trust me,” she places a hand on my forearm, “she will not let you help.”
“Okay.” I draw out the word and the girls all laugh. It forces a smile from me. I can’t help it. I feel included. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that. My mom was everyone to me. She was my best friend. When she died, I had no one else. It feels good to feel like I belong here. Even though I don’t.
“So do you want to write? Or do you just do the columns and blog thing?” Elle asks again and I know she’s genuinely interested. She's been asking me questions ever since Anthony told them that I work in romance literature. I literally laughed when he said it like that. Romance literature. I love smut. That’s my genre. Smutty smut smut. I shut the fuck up real quick when he gave me that look though. I’m still a little worried about that look. It could be a good thing though.
“I think I’d like to,” I start to answer, but I hear Anthony yell something. We all look to the doorway to the kitchen. But none of the women stand up. Elle grabs my wrist as I start to walk toward him, but I shake her off.
“Don’t,” I hear her whisper, but I ignore her. The women stand up, but they don’t stop me. I know they’re right and I should stay away. But something deep down is telling me Anthony needs me. I need to be there for him.
I walk into the kitchen in a daze and see Vince and Anthony yelling at each other. Their hair is a mess and they’re both breathing hard. Vince has the start of a bruise showing on his face. Anthony doesn’t see me as he says, “She’s as close to a wife as I’ll ever have.” It soothes my soul to hear those words coming from him. But then my heart shatters as I realize what’s happening.
“Until you kill her.” Vince’s words ring out clearly, and I hear them repeated in my head. Over and over. Kill her. Anthony finally sees me and I expect to see something in his eyes that proves to me that Vince didn’t mean that. That there’s no truth there. But it is true. I can barely breathe. I feel him take my hand in his and squeeze, but I don't return the gesture.
People move around us as he leads me away. It’s as though I’m watching this scene play out from a distance.
“We’re leaving.” I barely register Anthony’s words as he leads me away. What just happened? Until you kill her. No. I shake my head. No, it’s not true. But he said it with such conviction. And didn’t I always think he would? Didn’t I know this would happen? I should have run. A small voice whispers inside of me. Weak, you’re so fucking weak.
“You said they didn’t know.” I barely speak the words as Anthony leads me to the car. I have to keep blinking to focus. I feel lost and confused. That didn’t just happen. It couldn’t have. Everything was perfect. It was perfect. It was fake.
“Vince was the only one.” Was. But now they all know.
I remember the look in Vince’s eyes and everything changes. My world tilts on its side and my vision blurs with my tears. Vince isn’t a forgiving man. He wants me dead, just like the Cassanos. I don’t belong here. I watch Anthony as we drive away and the same cold, impassive look he had when I first met him is on his face.
In this moment I don’t know why Anthony brought me here, but I do know two things for certain. The first is that Anthony lied to me. And the only other thing I know is that the Valettis want me dead.
Anthony
“You’re going to kill me?” she whispers as I shut the front door behind me. She walks aimlessly in