started, and that terrifies me. But as much as I’d like to tell myself it hasn’t started, I know it already has. And I’m playing into his hands.
The realization sobers me. I slowly back away and get back into a submissive position, although my eyes aren’t on him at all. I stare at the floor and try to gather some kind of composure. I quickly wipe the tears away and chance a look at him as he sits back on the chair. He looks uncertain. It’s an expression I haven’t seen on him before. It makes me fucking terrified. He’s quick to adjust the look on his face.
“Come,” he says with a firm resolve. He pats his left leg. “Let’s try this again.” He waits patiently as I stand and sit awkwardly on his lap. His left arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me closer to him. Even though he’s so tall compared to me, his head is nearly level with mine with us seated like this. He rests his left hand in my lap, dangerously close to my pussy. My nightgown has ridden up some and I feel exceptionally vulnerable. I’m stiff on his lap, and I can’t relax with his hand where it is.
He waits a moment before saying or doing anything. It’s awkward as fuck.
“You need to relax.” He dips his finger into the sauce and brings it to my lips. He stares into my eyes rather than giving me the command. I do as he wants and open my mouth. He slips his finger past my lips. His eyes are drawn to my mouth as I gently suck his finger clean. When he pulls his finger away, he gives me a satisfied look.
“Good kitten.” He puts another piece of the tuna tartare to my lips and I accept it. Seeing his approval eases something in me. I know so long as he’s pleased, I’m safe with him. And so far, pleasing him is simple, but I don’t know what other terms he has.
On the next bite, I find myself leaning into his fingers. He tsks and pulls the piece away from me. My heart rate speeds up until I realize what I’ve done to upset him. I swallow and sit back on my heels, exactly the way I was positioned before. His left hand runs along the thin fabric of my nightgown, just above my clit. “Good job, kitten.” My pussy spasms around nothing. I close my eyes, hating how my body is betraying me. My nipples are hard, and the light brush of the fabric against them only turns me on even more. Other than his hand edging closer and closer to my pussy, he shows no signs of his own arousal.
“Eat until you’re full.” He grabs another piece, and we continue like this. Each time he feeds me his fingers brush a little closer to my throbbing clit, until finally his deft fingers are massaging small circles over my clit. I’m soaked for him, and primed for him to fuck me. And I fucking hate it. He’s playing me and using my body against me.
He leans into my neck and whispers with his lips barely touching the shell of my ear, “I knew you’d like this. You just need to admit that you want it.”
I’m not sure what angers me more--that I’ve allowed myself to be such easy prey for him, or that he’s right. I want him to fuck me, and I fucking hate him for it. But I’m not going to let him reduce me to nothing but a whore.
I push away from him and kick the plate off his lap while I fall to the floor. The dish smashes on the ground as I fall backward.
He rises quickly, somewhat bracing my fall. The anger washing off of him is so strong that I scoot backward on my ass without even realizing at first. My heart races in my chest, and my blood rushes in my ears. Fear consumes me.
Making Anthony angry is something I shouldn’t do. I know this as a truth, but I pissed him off anyway. I was going to play along. Why couldn’t I just do what I needed to?
I expect him to hit me, or to grab me like he did earlier for my outburst. Inwardly I’m cursing myself for not just going along with this. But I can’t. I’m more than that.
I anticipate his aggression. He doesn’t get violent. Instead, he turns his back