my body calms and he continues to shush me, all I can think is that this isn’t going to last. I’ve behaved badly. Very badly. Yet he’s holding me and consoling me. I could’ve tried to kill him, but he’s not punishing me in the least. I nestle deeper into his chest and clench my fists into tight balls to keep from gripping onto him. I’m afraid to hope that he can hold me forever. But it’s too late.
I wish he would keep me. Maybe if I’m good for him, he will.
I take a ragged breath in as my body heats with anxiety.
“It’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you.” He kisses the top of my head. I believe him. I trust him. My lungs fill with the hot air between us.
It’s a mistake, but I can’t help but hope that he’ll save me. Even though he said he won’t. Some dark part of me wants me to believe that he will. So I close my eyes and I let that part consume me. It may be the last wish I ever have. But with everything in me, I pray that he’ll keep me.
Kane
I didn’t sleep. Not for one fucking minute. I couldn’t cuff her back to the bed, not with the way she is. But I sure as fuck wasn’t going to let my guard down. Even if the gun wasn't loaded, she had it pointed at me for a long fucking time. Part of me wanted her to run. I don’t know if Abram’s going to let me live when I reject his offer. If she had run, at least one of us would have gotten away.
But she didn’t try to run. Instead she decided she’d try to kill me. I’m not sure why she didn’t pull the trigger. But I’m sure as fuck happy that she didn’t. Not because I want to live. I was never in any real danger. Some twisted part of me wants her to want me. The fact that she thought about killing me is like a bullet to my chest.
I understand it. I’d do it too if I were in her position, but that doesn’t ease the pain. I take a look at her from the corner of my eye as we pull up to the red light.
She was surprised when I told her to sit in the front seat. I wish she’d fucking act normal. Her hands won’t stop shaking and I fucking hate it.
If I keep pretending that everything’s alright, maybe she’ll settle down. I hope she will. She’s so fucking broken. She’s so scared that I’m going to hurt her.
I had to bring her with me. I didn’t trust leaving her alone. Not after I came back yesterday and saw what a shitty job I did tying her up. I’m used to zip ties. But I’m not tying her up like that. I’ve seen it go wrong too many times. I don’t want to risk hurting her.
She’s staying with me. Every waking moment, I want her right next to me. But I don’t want her to be the shell of a human she was when I first saw her. I know I can bring her out and help her heal.
My hands grip the steering wheel tighter, making my knuckles turn white. I fucking hate how she tries to fade into the background or trembles with fear. I loosen my grip and ease up off the gas as we make our way closer to the docks.
I gently lay a hand on the console, getting a bit closer to her, but not touching her.
“Just relax, and everything will be fine.” I repeat the words I told her when we left and she acknowledges me with a nod.
“I will. Thank you, Kane.” I don’t know why the fuck she’s thanking me, but I shove my annoyance down. I don’t want to yell at her, not like I did last night. She doesn’t deserve that. I need to go easy on her. After everything she’s been through, it’s a miracle that she’s as functional as she is.
I move my hand down to her thigh, just below her jean shorts and give her thigh a gentle squeeze. Her skin is so soft. “Everything’s going to be fine, Ava.” I turn my head to meet her eyes. “No one’s going to hurt you.” I’ll fucking kill anyone who tries to fuck with her. I’m not playing around. Right now she’s mine. It may not be