in a heavy breath and winces. My heart hurts for him. I know he’s in pain.
“Kitten,” he barely manages to get out.
“Anthony,” I say as I look up at him and move my hands to his bed, crawling to get close to him.
“Can I get in with you?” I ask him. I know he’s in pain, but I need to feel him. I need to be next to him and be by his side.
“Please,” I beg him. “I need to feel you.” He gives me a nod and watches as I quickly move to him. I never want to leave his side again.
I climb onto the small bed and hold him close to me. Tommy and Vince stand and talk to Anthony, but I don’t listen. I can’t do anything but hold him.
Once they’re quiet I finally speak.
“I’m so sorry, Anthony,” I say as I bury my head into his chest.
“Nothing to be sorry about.” He kisses my hair and rubs my back. He’s consoling me when he’s the one who’s so badly hurt. I pull away and brush the tears from my eyes while I shake my head.
“I never should’ve left you.” I push down the sob threatening to choke me.
I look over to the left and see Vince and Tommy watching us. Both look confused and are obviously judging us, but I don’t care. I need him to know how much I want him, how much I need him. I can’t go back to a life without him. Never.
“I’ll go to the cell. I deserve to be punished.” I speak clearly and I know the other men heard, but I don’t care if they know. It’s none of their fucking business, and what they think of me is none of my business. I’ve never felt more safe and complete as I do with Anthony. I’m not letting that go.
“No, you need to go. Now,” Anthony says dully as he stares at the back wall.
“You’re throwing me away?” I ask him as my heart shatters in my chest. I shake my head in complete denial. I feel so broken. Every part of me hurts all the way to my soul.
“Please, Anthony,” I beg him. “Please don’t throw me away.”
He closes his eyes and refuses to look at me. “You don’t understand, Catherine. You’re free now. No one will come for you. You can live your life in peace.”
“We’ll make sure you're safe and settled in.” Vince interrupts us and motions for Tommy to follow him. He holds the door open and they both look back at us. “Whatever you two decide, we’ll make sure you’re safe, Catherine.” He locks eyes with Anthony for a moment before leaving and closing the door behind him.
“But I don’t want to go.” My shoulders shake and my voice cracks. I try to scoot closer to him and he lets me. Thank God he lets me. “Please, Anthony. I can’t live without you.”
“You can.” His hand cups my chin and his thumb strokes against my jaw. I lean into his warmth and kiss his palm.
“You’ll find a man who can love you.” It breaks my heart that he’s willing to let me go. That he’s shoving me away. “I don’t deserve you.” He says the words with finality.
“Just the fact that you’re saying that means you do.” I breathe out the words, my hands clutching his. I need him to take me back.
“I’ll do anything.” I will. I’ll do anything he wants for him to take me back.
“Then leave me,” he says.
“I won’t.” I almost yell the words, but somehow, saying it in a calm voice and locking my eyes on his, it comes out with force.
His eyes heat with anger and a dark lust that I’ve missed. “Are you disobeying me, kitten?” he asks. His chest rises and falls with a sharp intake of air.
“Yes. I am.” I stare back at him defiantly, hoping it’s enough. That his need to punish me is enough that he’ll keep me. Even if he doesn’t realize it, I know he loves me. And I love him.
I close my eyes and gather up the courage to spill my truth to him. “I love you, Anthony.” I wipe the tears away angrily. “You'd better not throw me out. I’d rather die.”
“You wouldn’t,” he says as though he knows it to be true.
“I would. I can’t live without you.” The pain in my chest is unbearable. I know I won’t be okay without him. Never.
“I did that to you,”