I don’t hold back any longer, I can’t. I let loose and swing as hard as I can, landing a punch on Vince’s jaw. He staggers back a few feet, cupping his chin and looking up at me with daggers, but he doesn’t make a move to counter. He stands there waiting as he rubs his jaw. He gave me a pass this time. But I won't get another.
He takes two steps and spits in the sink. “If you can tell me right now that you love her, I’ll back off. You going to marry her, Anthony?” He’s asking like it’s a dare. Like he knows me. It fucking tears me up inside that he’s right. He doesn’t know her. He doesn’t know us.
“She’s as close to a wife as I’ll ever have.” I didn’t even know how true the words were until I spoke them.
“Until you kill her.” Vince says the words just as Catherine walks into the doorway. Her mouth parts and her eyes widen as she looks between us.
“Fuck you,” I say with disdain at Vince and quickly go to her. I take Catherine by the hand and brush past my brother as he walks into the doorway.
“Whoa,” he says with shock. “You guys alright?”
“We’re leaving,” I answer with my back to him and drag her out of the house with everyone staring at us.
As the door slams shut behind us, I look at my girl, but I know she’s not okay.
My heart hammers with a fear I’ve never felt before. Although I’m gripping onto her like my life depends on it, she’s already gone. I’ve lost her.
Catherine
I sure as fuck wasn’t expecting this to be so...comfortable and normal. I’m usually a bit awkward with people—and I still am today, don't get me wrong—but I don't feel the nervous energy I thought I would. I'm able to relax somewhat and just be my usual awkward self. At least around the women.
“So, do you want to be a writer?” Elle asks me. She’s Vince’s wife. Her voice is soft like you’d think it would be after taking one look at her since she’s sweet and petite. Vince isn’t. He looks scary as fuck. All the men are intimidating. I’m super fucking happy to be in a room with just the girls.
Being around the men is different. I felt like a sheep brought to the slaughter. I couldn't stop trying to determine which position in the mafia each man had. I couldn’t even breathe for the first few minutes. So many fucking flashbacks made me feel like I was drowning. But this is nothing like what I experienced with the Cassanos.
Lorenzo would start talking about things with the other members of his familia anywhere, and then look at me like I shouldn’t have been there. Like it was my fault. It happened a few times, and then they started doing it on purpose and blocking me from leaving. They liked scaring me and taunting me by calling me the meek mouse. I never felt safe, and they said that was a good thing. Lorenzo said it was good to be afraid. And I was. They made damn sure to keep me afraid.
I stayed with Lorenzo far too long because of that fear and then...well, by the time I had the courage to leave, that’s when I actually saw shit. Shit that changed my life forever. I shake my head and try to forget. I don’t want to go there in that headspace. Not now.
It’s not like that here though with the Valettis. Everything is lighthearted. It took me a while to even want to eat, but when I did it seemed to help. I just kept something at my mouth the entire night hoping no one would talk to me. It’s odd how I still felt included in conversations even though I only really ever smiled and nodded. It felt nice though. It’s been a long time since I’ve even talked to anyone. I’ve been too afraid. Back when I was in hiding, I had the ridiculous idea that the very first person I talked to would somehow know the Cassanos and they would tell them where I was.
But that doesn’t matter anymore. I have Anthony now. I’ve never felt more safe in my entire life than I do tonight. It’s the first time I’ve felt like I could fit in, like I could have a family again. And I want it. I haven’t wanted for anything in so