he liked bottoming now.
But we made it work. Didn’t even have to try, really. Our bodies remembered each other. Hands stroking, legs interlocking, chests heaving, we gave ourselves over to the moment. It wasn’t the same as before, but it was good, so good.
Julian pressed just the tip of his finger inside my hole and I shivered, biting down on his neck. Fuck, I’d missed that. I hadn’t slept with a man in years, but even with other guys, it had never been the same as with Julian.
We moved together, our bodies working as one. Tensing and relaxing, taking pleasure and giving it in turn. We didn’t talk—as long as we said nothing, we could pretend this wouldn’t change everything. Pretend that we could go back to being friends, or whatever we were, tomorrow.
It was stupid, maybe. Reckless, definitely. But it was worth it. My lips roved across his skin, and his hips stuttered against me as I stroked us together. I was so close to coming, and if I could still read Julian at all, he was too.
In some ways, I was eighteen again, my body rising and falling with his in our shared desire. Julian touched me with a confidence I hadn’t seen in years. He touched me like he trusted me to still be there in the morning, and for a moment, I remembered what it was like before I’d lost the boy I loved.
I gasped as his finger slid deeper. Fuck, I wanted more of him, all of him. Wanted to feel him inside me and know we were connected.
I’d been with other men since I’d left Summersea, but I’d never been able to let down my guard the way I could with him. With Julian, it was like I didn’t have a choice. My defenses evaporated the minute he stepped into the room.
With his finger inside me, his cock sliding against mine, it only took a few more strokes and I tipped over the edge. I came, splashing onto his stomach and mine. Julian’s cock throbbed in my hand and I stroked him until he came too, his body shuddering against me.
His head fell limply onto my chest and we lay silent, basking in release and relief. I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed that until now. To leave my own body for a moment, and become a part of his.
Julian stirred against me. “I should go get a washcloth. Some water.”
“In a minute.” I pulled him tighter. I wasn’t ready to let go just yet. “In a minute.”
It turns out that after sex, the duration of a minute is closer to four hours than it is to sixty seconds, so it wasn’t until Julian’s breath tickled my chest and a particularly eager bird chirped outside the window that I cracked my eyes open again.
The clock on the nightstand informed me, far too brightly for my liking, that it was now 4:44 a.m. Christ, I wasn’t ready for that. Wasn’t ready to face the day, or really anything outside of this bed.
Everything felt so peaceful. The room had cooled off, and the night air felt like silk against my skin. Julian… Julian felt even better.
I hadn’t expected to find him falling apart last night, but I was glad I’d come. Holding him in my arms felt as natural as breathing. Like holding him was the very thing my arms were made for.
Around Julian, I made sense. My anger subsided and my breath grew quiet. Around him, I was complete.
I shouldn’t have stayed last night. Shouldn’t have kissed him back. But how do you tell your body not to do what comes most naturally to it? How do you stop the half of yourself when it’s found the piece that makes it whole?
I knew I needed to leave. Instead, I found myself nuzzling Julian’s neck. He was curled up on his side, his back pressed against my chest. How long had it been since we’d held each other like this? How many nights had been robbed from us?
I stroked a hand down his arm, then traced along the contours of his chest. His ribs rose and fell like the ocean. His heartbeat, strong and sure, thumped against my palm. My lips roamed along his neck, a kiss for every inch, mapping my desire.
Julian shifted, then turned in my arms so he was facing me. I kissed his forehead, and his hair tickled my nose. He turned his face up, opened his eyes, and I smiled at