He kissed the tip of my nose. “I love you.” His lips sought mine.
For the second time in an hour, I melted.
His body was long and lean, pressed against me. He shifted and I felt his cock rub against mine through his jeans. He was as hard as I was, and I slipped a hand in between us to palm his shaft.
Connor groaned in pleasure, but then pulled back. “Are you going to kick me out of bed if I say we should talk?”
“What’s there to talk about?” At that moment, I couldn’t think of a single thing that existed outside of the room.
“You.” He brushed his lips across mine. “Me. Us.”
“Well.” I pointed to my chest. “I want you.” I pointed to him. “You want me.” I flicked my finger back and forth between us. “So I’d say that puts us in a pretty solid position.”
Connor snorted. “I mean long term, dummy. I mean what happens after we leave this room.”
“Katie makes some crack about our sex life, probably.”
“And after that?” He kissed me again, then made a face. “This is weird. I feel like it’s supposed to be you wanting to talk, and me trying to avoid it.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it.” I paused. “I guess it’s just that talking about it makes it real, in a way that it hasn’t been until now. And kind of scary.”
“Why scary?”
“Not bad-scary just, like, change-scary, if that makes sense.” I bit my lip. “Katie told me earlier this week that she’d be willing to move next year, if I needed to get a job somewhere else. And since I know you don’t want to do long distance…”
Connor rolled onto his side. “For the longest time, I thought I could never have what I wanted. So I tried to convince myself I didn’t want it at all. Didn’t want a relationship, or someone to come home to.”
He stroked a finger up and down my arm, making the hairs there stand on end. “But when I’m around you, it’s so clear that I do want all that stuff. I just only want it with you. And I want the real thing. Not some version that relies on phone calls and texts.”
I shifted onto my side, facing him. “That’s what I’m saying. I could move. We can still have that.”
Connor smiled. “Actually, I was thinking that maybe I could stick around here. I kinda have a job offer.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Tom offered to keep me on. Whether we win or lose. Either to keep fighting, or to set up an office here, if the beach gets protection. I don’t have the details but, yeah. I could stay.”
I studied his face. “Do you want to? I don’t want you to feel like you have to say yes just because of me.”
“I think I actually do.” He laughed wryly. “It’s been a kind of slow realization, and I’ve wanted to talk to you about it for a while, but—well, things were complicated. We weren’t even talking when Tom first offered me the job.”
“Which time would that be?” I meant it as a joke, but his eyes went all sad and serious. “Come on, I was just kidding.”
“Doesn’t that worry you?” Connor asked.
“What?”
“That I’m such an asshole. That there have been so many times we weren’t talking, all because I—”
“Hey.” I cut him off. “You’re not an asshole. I think you know me well enough to know that I’d tell you if you were.”
“But you have to admit, I’m not the easiest person to be in a relationship with. To be anything with. My temper gets the best of me, and I don’t like talking about my feelings.”
“You’re doing just fine now.”
“You know what I mean. Please, Jules. I’m not good at this. I have no real practice dating people. What if I fuck this all up and hurt you again?”
“Then we’ll work through it.” I shifted closer to Connor on the bed, tapped a finger on his chest. “In case you’ve forgotten, I don’t exactly have the world’s most successful string of relationships behind me either. We’ll figure it out together.”
“But you’re so good. You’re kind and gentle and you give people the benefit of the doubt. Anyone would want to be with you. I’m—”
“Strong, and honest, and willing to stand up for what you believe in,” I finished for him. “And if that means not everyone wants to be with you, good. Less competition.”
He rolled his eyes.
“We’re different,” I said.