I breathed as I leaned down and kissed him. Since I couldn’t find the words to tell him what I was feeling, I tried to show him instead.
After that, we let our bodies do the talking for us. I finally got the chance to cherish Lex’s body the way I’d been craving, but I was too far gone in my need for him to do as much as I wanted.
“I need you,” I growled as I moved up from where I’d been kissing his navel.
“My wallet,” Lex croaked as his hands moved desperately over my back and he began lifting his hips up to try and grind our dicks together. “Condom and lube in it,” he added.
Nerves skittered in my belly. “I, um, I bought some stuff last time I went to town,” I admitted. “I don’t know if it’s the right kind—”
“Get it,” Lex demanded. I smiled to myself at the order. An hour earlier the man had refused to tell me what he wanted in bed. Thankfully, he wasn’t suffering from that same problem now.
I reached out to the nightstand and ripped the drawer out. The damn thing came off its rails and hit the floor.
“Shit,” I muttered. I was forced to lean over the side of the bed to rummage through the contents to find what I was looking for.
Lex began laughing.
Hard.
As I snagged the box of condoms and the bottle of lube, I grumbled, “Shut it or you’re not getting lucky.”
Lex only laughed harder. When I straightened and pressed all my weight back down on him, he tried to stifle his chuckles. I could have watched the joy on his face all day. From the moment I’d met him, he’d always had these worry lines that were seemingly etched into his skin, but those were gone and all that was left was a young man who was finally comfortably free.
Lex sobered as he reached up to cup my face. “I’m already pretty damn lucky,” he murmured.
I shook my head because I still couldn’t comprehend what I’d done right to have this man come into my life. I leaned down and kissed him hard. It took next to nothing to get us both frenzied again. My dick was as hard as a spike.
“Tell me how to get you ready,” I ground out as I reared back and practically ripped the box of condoms to shreds in an effort to get just one out. I tossed it on the bed next to us and then reached for the lube.
“I can do it,” Lex said desperately as he held his hand out, presumably for the lube.
“No way,” I said as I brushed another kiss over his mouth. “We’re doing this right.” I managed to open the lube and squirted some on my fingers. “Is this the right stuff?” I asked as I put some on Lex’s digits. He rubbed his fingers together and quickly nodded his head.
“Yeah, it’s good. Put some on your finger. You need to get some… inside me.”
Lex was clearly hesitant. No doubt he was expecting me to turn tail and run now that the actual act was upon us. It wasn’t lost on me that I was about to fuck another man, but nothing I’d done with Lex had seemed even remotely wrong or uncomfortable. My biggest concern was making sure I didn’t hurt him.
I squirted a liberal amount of lube on my finger. “It’s cold,” I said grimly.
I looked down in time to see Lex smile. “I promise you, Gideon, I’m not going to notice,” he said. “How do you want me?”
“What?” I asked in confusion. Despite his comment about the temperature of the lube, I still wished there was a way I could warm it up a bit.
“Do you want me on all fours or on my back?”
“What do you like best?” I asked. The tension in my belly began to grow as I realized how ill-equipped I was for this. At least with Serena, I’d understood the mechanics. But with Lex I was in completely new territory and no amount of porn videos were adequate preparation for the real deal. “God, I’m fucking this up,” I muttered.
Lex sat up and gripped my face. I loved how easily he was able to find my cheeks.
“Gideon, these past few minutes with you have meant more to me than any experience with any other guy. Not one of them ever cared enough to worry about me like you do.”
“They’re assholes who didn’t know what they’re