shape because the sun was too bright.
"She was five. Serena and I hadn’t been planning on having more kids, so she was a surprise." Gideon paused before adding, "The best kind of surprise."
"Our first daughter, Emma, was a surprise too. I'd always wanted to be a father, but we’d had Emma when we were really young and neither of us was completely ready. But we made it work. Emma’s fifteen now."
It was a relief to know that he still had one daughter, but the fact that he'd never mentioned her before today wasn't a good sign.
"What happened to Bethie?" I asked. I took a gamble and moved down a step so I could be a little closer to him. "Was it related to her diabetes?"
"No," Gideon said. "We killed her. Serena and I."
They were the last words I’d expected to hear. I opened my mouth to tell him I didn't believe him, but then snapped it shut again. He'd come here to tell me a story and I needed to listen to it.
"By the time Bethie was born, Serena and I were done, at least as far as I was concerned. I'd asked her repeatedly for a divorce, but then she got pregnant."
"So you stayed," I suggested.
"I'd always hated growing up with divorced parents. They'd use me to play games with each other and whenever I was with one, all they’d do was complain about the other. It was like they wanted me to pick sides or something. What kid wants to pick which parent they want to be with more?" Gideon paused before saying, "I couldn't do that to my kids. I wouldn't."
As much as I wanted to respond, I knew what he needed me to do was just listen. I eased myself down another step. There were two more to go before I'd be able to reach him. I wasn't even sure if that was what he wanted. But he was here and that was all that really mattered.
"Bethie's condition put even more of a strain on my relationship with Serena. Managing Bethie’s diabetes was something we should've worked together at, but Serena was never good about following through on things like diet and monitoring blood sugar. Sometimes I was probably too good at it. I was afraid to let Bethie splurge at times. I mean, she was still a kid. If she wanted an extra piece of cake, maybe I should've just let her…"
"You did what was best for her, Gideon. I was Bethie's age when I started getting sick, but it was a long time before anyone thought to take me to a doctor. They just figured I was being difficult. I missed out on being a kid because no one cared enough to manage my disease. You did the right thing."
I hated that I couldn't see Gideon's nonverbal responses. It made it harder to know if I was saying the right thing or not. Or if I should be saying anything at all. For all I knew, I was making it worse.
"Serena and I couldn't make it work. We fought all the time and that spilled over into the relationship with our kids. A couple weeks before Emma turned twelve, I told Serena I couldn't do it anymore and that I was going through with the divorce. I moved out of the house and got a lawyer. Serena had always had a lot of problems. Mostly with depression and anxiety. She'd go on and off her medication, so it was always this roller coaster with her. I tried repeatedly to get her to go to marriage counseling with me, but she didn't see the things that I did. And the more I tried to pull away, the tighter onto me she'd hold. I should’ve… I should've…"
The hitch in Gideon's voice had me moving down another step. I put my hand out in the hopes of finding him. But Gideon came to me. Or at least his hand did, anyway. I held on to that fact as hard as I held on to his fingers as he continued.
"I should have seen it coming,” he choked out.
When he didn’t continue, I dared to ask, “What happened, Gideon?”
I waited for him to respond, but it wasn't his voice I heard. It was a woman's voice and it was clearly a recording of some kind.
Emma, I'm sorry, honey, but I can't take you shopping today. Your dad… he was just here and he…
There was some interference with the recording