and I’d thrown it away because I'd been too afraid to reach for it, to hold on to it? And worse, if it were true, I'd hurt Gideon horribly by rejecting him.
"You know what, I think maybe you should just go," Gideon said. "I'll call King to come get you."
"No, Gideon, wait! Please, just wait."
But unlike so many of the other times, Gideon didn't wait for me. He didn't reach for me. I heard his retreating footsteps. He was walking away just like so many people in my life had.
The pain of his rejection nearly had me falling to my knees, but for once, my mind overruled my body and I found myself straightening my spine. I drew in a breath and took a step forward, then another. I focused on counting each step and when I reached the right number, I put my hand out. It was greeted by smooth wood. I didn't take any time to dwell on the small victory. Instead, I pushed forward and began counting the steps it would take to make it down Gideon's hallway. I heard the distinctive jingle of Brewer’s collar, but when the dog pressed against me, I spared him only a quick pat. "I got this, buddy," I said to him when he tried to lean into me. As I continued moving forward, I could still sense the dog's presence next to me, but I didn't feel any need to lean on him.
It wasn't until I reached the living room that I stopped and listened. I didn't hear anything at first, so I had the sinking feeling that Gideon had left me. But just before I took another step forward, I heard it—a sharp cracking sound that I knew wasn't coming from inside the cabin.
I closed my eyes and focused on getting through the living room, then to the back door of the kitchen. I chose that door because I was almost certain that the sound I was hearing was coming from the backyard rather than the front. I knew I was right when I opened the door.
I hadn't spent any time in Gideon's backyard, so I had a moment of uncertainty as I considered what could potentially happen, especially if Gideon refused to listen to me and left me in a place I wasn't familiar with. But there really wasn't any question of what I would do next. Remembering the tumble I’d taken down the steps the day Gideon had brought me to his house for the first time, I reached out to find any kind of banister. There wasn't one, so I had no choice but to inch my way forward until I was able to locate the first step. I couldn't remember how many steps there were, so it was considerably disorienting as I tried to determine whether or not I'd reached the bottom. I didn't take a breath until my shoes landed on snow.
I could still hear the sound I'd heard in the house, but I now knew what it was. Gideon was chopping wood. I hadn't heard any kind of pause, so I assumed he either hadn't seen me coming down the steps or he hadn't cared.
I made my way toward the sound, but I had no idea how close to him I was. I stopped and shouted his name, but the chopping continued. I moved closer and repeated the action, and this time there was a slight pause before the chopping started up again. "Gideon!" I yelled for the third time.
"Go wait inside for your brother, Lex!" Gideon shouted back.
He started chopping wood again. Biting back my frustration, I tried again to get him to listen but there was no pause in the chopping as I spoke. My frustration turned to anger as I tried to think of some way to force him to listen to me. When I finally came up with a plan, there was no hesitation on my part to execute it.
If Gideon didn't want me anymore, that was fine. But I damn well wasn't walking away until he said the words to my face.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Gideon
The first snowball caught me square in the back. The second one caught me right in the side of the face.
I turned completely around just in time for Lex to launch another one in my direction. If I hadn't ducked, it too would've gotten me in the face. For a guy who couldn't see shit, Lex had some pretty damn good aim.
"Knock it off, Lex!" I