long the kiss lasted but by the time he tore his mouth from mine, I was lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. I was also wrapped around Gideon like a vine. Not to mention that somehow in the process of kissing him, I'd ended up with my back up against his truck. I was glad to hear that Gideon was breathing as hard as I was. His forehead was pressed against mine and he still had one hand on my back and the other carded through my hair.
"You should come to my house and have spaghetti with me."
The words should've been funny considering what had happened right before them, but nothing about his statement was humorous. I suspected it was his way of trying to deal with what had just happened, and I got that. I'd had my fair share of fantasies about him from the moment he'd saved my life, but none of them had done reality justice. My fingers itched to touch every bit of his bare skin. I wanted to taste it too. I'd been with a decent number of men since I'd lost my virginity at the ripe old age of twenty-two, but I couldn't remember any sex act I’d performed with any of my previous lovers that could even hold a candle to a single kiss with Gideon. I was afraid of what that meant.
So yeah, spaghetti sounded like a pretty damn good idea.
"Okay," I said. To my surprise, Gideon's mouth brushed over mine again in the softest, sweetest of kisses and then his hand was closing around mine. He led me to the passenger side of the truck and opened the door for me. He’d done it before but somehow this time it felt different. Like he wasn’t opening the door for me because I was blind, but because he wanted to. Because it was something a person would do for someone they cared about.
When Gideon shut the door, I forced myself to pull in one breath after another to try to calm my raging libido. I had no clue what was going to happen when we got to his house. I didn't care, so long as he didn't tell me the whole thing had been a mistake.
Even if it had been.
Gideon started the truck up and then whistled for Brewer. I heard the dog jumping into the truck. It served to remind me of why Gideon had shown up at the cabin in the first place. That led to me remembering our conversation… okay, our fight.
I still had no clue how a discussion about condoms and lube had turned into Gideon kissing me, but I wasn't going to argue with him about it. I absently wondered if he had both of those items at home. I actually carried a condom and lube packet in my wallet, but since I hadn't been expecting to leave the cabin, I didn't have my wallet on me.
"What?" I heard Gideon ask.
I looked his way and said, "Huh?"
So smooth, Lex. So smooth.
"You're smiling," Gideon said.
"You're not?" I asked. If I hadn’t been smiling about the condom and lube that were sitting useless on my kitchen counter, I most surely would've been smiling about the fact that Gideon had kissed me. What if the man next to me wasn't feeling the same way?
"Truth?" he asked.
Oh God, that didn't bode well for me. But I nodded anyway.
"I'm not sure what I'm feeling at the moment."
Just like that, my good mood evaporated. I wanted to ask him what he was confused about. Then I wanted to know what I was even doing there. Why were we even going to his place? But then an ugly truth hit me as I thought about what little I knew of Gideon's past.
Specifically, his wife. Hell, I didn’t actually know if he’d even been married. He’d only mentioned having a daughter. He most certainly didn’t need to have been married for that…
Oh hell.
"Gideon, please tell me that wasn't your first kiss with a guy." I knew I probably should've waited to have this particular conversation until we got to his place, but there were some questions that needed answers like right now. When Gideon didn't respond, my stomach dropped out and I was sure a little moan of despair escaped my throat before I could cover it up.
"Oh God," I said softly. I'd avoided this exact scenario my entire life. I'd specifically pushed Gideon away after learning about the whole aisle seven thing because I'd