The only way I'd known that was because after he’d left the table, I'd felt around his plate to see how much food was still sitting on it.
It was usually a lot.
Andre had returned Brewer to Gideon's house the day after I'd confronted Gideon about needing to deal with his grief. Brewer had already wormed his way into my heart, but when I'd heard the dog was the reason Gideon had hung on for as long as he had, he'd claimed a large chunk of it for life.
But no one had lodged themselves more firmly in my heart than Gideon had.
I had no doubt that I was in love with him. Deeply and completely. I couldn't even pinpoint the exact moment when it had happened.
It had just been.
And I had no clue what to do about it.
Despite everything we’d been through together, nothing had really changed. His life was here and mine was in LA. I didn't even want to consider that even if Gideon became more comfortable with his newfound sexuality, it didn't mean he'd want to spend his life with someone like me. While I'd learned to move easily around my cabin, and more recently Gideon's house, the fact was that it wouldn't be so easy to adjust to life outside the little bubble that Fisher Cove provided.
So I did my best not to dwell on the fact that I’d lost my heart to the man I held in my arms every night as he mourned. I just focused on bringing him back the way he’d brought me back without even realizing it.
By the third week, Gideon had started to get back into his routine of checking on the cabins. I'd fully expected him to take me back to my cabin and for us to either go our separate ways or maybe try the whole friend thing again, but to my surprise, the first morning when he’d left to check the cabins out, he’d brushed a kiss across my lips and had asked me if I needed anything from my cabin or if I wanted something from town. I'd tried to write it off as him just needing my presence for a little longer, but admittedly, I was getting too used to living the strange little domestic life that we’d somehow fallen into.
Even though Gideon fell asleep in my arms every night, we hadn't been intimate in any kind of way. It hadn't even been on my radar because it just wasn't something Gideon needed to be thinking about at the moment. But it was certainly on my mind now as Gideon started to get his life back on track. I wanted him more than ever, but I was afraid of what would happen if we did make love. How would I ever be able to let him go after something like that?
In addition to not talking about our relationship, we hadn't talked about Gideon's family at all. I was desperate to know about his other daughter, specifically where she was, but I knew that if and when he wanted to discuss it with me, he’d let me know.
"Lex? Are you here?" I heard Gideon call as he entered the kitchen. I'd been exploring his living room in more detail in the hopes that I could learn more about the man I'd fallen so hard for.
"In here," I responded.
Butterflies danced in my belly as I heard Gideon approach. He’d taken Brewer with him but when I didn't feel the dog greet me, I assumed he’d left the husky outside. While Brewer enjoyed spending time with us in the house, he was definitely an outdoor type of dog because he could easily spend hours exploring the woods around Gideon's house.
"Hey," Gideon said before he brushed a kiss over my cheek. As much as I cherished little moments like these with him, I also wondered if he'd ever kiss me for real again. It was hard to lie next to him night after night and not dream about his weight pressing me into the mattress or his mouth consuming mine. The familiar shivers of anticipation assailed my body even as Gideon stepped away from me.
"What are these?" I asked as I motioned to the items in front of me. It felt like some type of small shelf hanging on the wall and there were little knickknacks all over it. I'd been examining each one in detail but only one had a shape that felt somewhat familiar.
"Oh, that's my…" Gideon began