that. I would've loved to have been able to see things like his arm wrapped around my waist. But since I'd been forced to rely on my other senses, I’d taken in things that I might not have otherwise. Like how tight Gideon had held me with the arm I hadn’t been able to see. And how he’d panted in my ear and whispered things that I wasn't even sure he’d realized he was saying.
"Get a grip, Lex," I told myself, because I could feel my dick responding to the mental images that were forming in my head.
After I finished my front, I focused on my back. My cheeks, the ones on my face, felt hot as I cleaned Gideon’s release from my back and between my ass.
So much for trying to keep myself from getting hard again. The mere thought of Gideon shooting all over my skin was making most of my blood run south.
I ended up running lines of code in my head as I finished getting cleaned up and then slowly made my way back to the kitchen. I could hear things like running water and the refrigerator door being repeatedly opened and closed. I also heard Gideon muttering under his breath. I was kind of glad I couldn’t hear the actual words, though.
The muttering stopped, as did all the other sounds a moment later, so I figured Gideon had seen me. That fact was confirmed when Gideon said, "Oh, there you are. Did you, um, want something to drink? Were you able to find what you needed in the bathroom? I was just getting started on the spaghetti. You're still hungry, right? I can make something besides spaghetti if you're not in the mood for that. I think I have some steaks in the freezer—"
"Gideon, breathe," I said as I tried to pinpoint where he was so I could move closer to him. I didn't think he was having a panic attack, but he was most certainly freaking out. I put my hands out in front of me and began moving in the direction I thought he was in. I almost shouted for joy when my fingers came into contact with his. I knew he had to be holding out his hand to me, but I hadn't heard him take steps forward, so I knew I'd closed the distance between us on my own. For some reason, that little success shifted everything for me in that moment. I forgot that I was supposed to be as nervous and confused as him. Instead, I found myself running my hands up each of his arms to his face. I marveled at the little bit of stubble I felt as I clasped his cheeks. It was the first time I was getting to “see” him, even if it was just with my hands.
"Just breathe," I reminded the man before me. I felt like a jackass for how selfish I'd been. I'd been worried about how awkward things were for me afterwards, but I could only begin to imagine what Gideon was going through. When I'd had sex for the first time, or even been kissed for the first time, I'd at least known I was gay. From everything Gideon had said, his newfound sexuality had been completely unexpected. I wasn't sure how long he’d had to process his attraction to another guy, but he’d gone from kissing one to an intense sexual encounter within a matter of minutes, so he had to be feeling anxious about that.
"Sorry," Gideon breathed. I liked that he didn't try to move away from me. In fact, it seemed like he'd stepped into me, making it easier for me to caress his face.
"Don't be sorry," I offered and then I did something that felt like the most natural thing in the world. I pulled his face down and brushed my lips over his temple. It was my way of telling him that no matter what happened, he would be okay. We would both be okay.
"Just talk to me, Gideon."
Gideon let out a harsh breath. "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."
"It's understandable," I said. "If this is your first time with another guy—"
"That's not what I mean. But yeah, it is." I was surprised when Gideon's fingers came up and sifted through my hair. "God, it is as soft as I imagined."
I smiled and said, "You imagined touching my hair?"
Since my hands were on Gideon's cheeks, I could feel when they moved. So