to bring up memories of some of the better times I’d spent with my brothers. The times where we hadn't had to fight to stay alive in a system that hadn't given two shits about us.
Despite the promise to myself that I would stand my ground, I flinched when wood scraped over wood and then the floorboards beneath my feet began to creak. I willed myself to focus on pulling in one easy breath after another, but when a dark shape began to form in front of me, something in my brain shifted and I automatically stepped back.
And kept stepping back.
"Hey, stop—" I heard Gideon say, but I was too busy scrambling backwards in search of the corner of the room. It would be the only place I could protect at least the front of my body. My back would be able to withstand the blows. I knew that because it had before…
I only managed to make it about three steps before hard fingers closed around my upper arm. "Don't," I shouted—no, begged. Even I could hear it in my voice.
The fingers on my arm gentled slightly but didn't loosen enough for me to pull free. I stood there frozen, head down.
Unable to escape.
"Lex," I heard Gideon say. His voice was much like it had been when he’d found me in my cabin. "Try to slow your breathing, okay?"
Easier said than done. I closed my eyes and thought about Con and the breathing exercises he'd have me do at night when he'd find me thrashing in my bed because of a violent nightmare. But it only served to make me miss my brother even more. I choked back a sob and tried desperately to breathe around the lump in my throat. A good minute went by before I heard a soft voice near my ear and felt a hard body pressed almost flush with mine. It was then that I remembered Gideon and the fact that I was standing half naked in a room in his house, not back in some foster home being reminded that I was only a paycheck.
"I want you to count with me, Lex," Gideon said gently. I swore I felt his fingers brush over my temple, but there was no way to be absolutely certain. My lungs hurt from the effort of trying to draw in enough air. I knew I wasn't really dying, but it sure as hell felt that way. My heart felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest and my body felt overly hot.
"One," Gideon said. When he repeated the number, I remembered his gentle demand to count with him. It wasn't until he said the number a third time that I tried to choke it out. When he said the next number, I was a few beats behind him. By the number five, I was counting with him and I noticed that he was leaving more and more of a pause between each number. I matched my exhales to one number and my inhales to the next and repeated the pattern until Gideon finally stopped counting around fifty. I felt wrung out and confused.
That lasted for a good minute before I realized I was still pressed up against Gideon’s hard body. He felt warm and strong and I found myself curling into him for a few seconds before I caught myself and jerked away from him. Thankfully, Gideon released me without further argument.
"Stay here and I'll go check if your clothes are dry," Gideon bit out after several moments. His voice sounded strained. I expected him to just leave me standing there, but he actually led me back to the bed and urged me to sit. A warm, furry body pressed up against me the moment I did. I found myself letting Brewer comfort me as I waited for Gideon to return. My body automatically tensed up again when I heard his footsteps. I closed my eyes because I didn't want a repeat of the previous events when I saw his form closing in on me. It was still something I hadn't gotten used to. Just months earlier, people had still retained their shape when I’d looked at them. I hadn't been able to distinguish them, but at least I hadn’t confused them for monstrous-looking blobs of dark and light.
"Here," Gideon said as he placed something in my hands. It most definitely wasn't my dress shirt and pants. It felt like a pair of sweats. I