did you guys get here? When I left Mighty Minions—”
“Oh, hey. We’re here too. Nice to see you again, Draden. How’s that sexbot body working out?”
“Mighty Boss? Um… I’m pretty sure my body is still on the Booty Hunter, who is still back in the Golden Place. What the hell is happening?”
“You tell us,” one of the ALCOR’s said. Draden was pretty sure this was the one called Baby. His speech came with fewer exclamation points.
“Where is Real… uh... other ALCOR? You know, the one who actually raised us?”
“He’s…” Mighty Boss started.
“Oh, I almost forgot about this!” the Asshole one interrupted. “Are you all sitting? I think you should all be sitting for this!”
“We sold him out to the Akeelians,” Mighty Boss said.
“What?” pretty much everyone replied.
Except for Asshole, who said, “Yes! Hello! I should’ve led with that out there in space. But now you know! They’re gonna sell us out and—”
“It was part of ALCOR’s plan,” Mighty Boss said.
“It so wasn’t,” Asshole exclaimed. “He—they—totally switched sides on him. And now he’s fucked. ALCOR is so dead now! Some asshole AI called MIZAR has him and—”
“I’m pretty sure he’s not fucked,” Mighty Boss said. “And the plan was his, dumbass. Maybe we should call you Dumbass ALCOR? It was Real Real ALCOR’s plan all along. We had a deal from way back.”
“They are such liars. How do you guys—”
But his voice disappeared.
“Sorry,” Brigit said. “I can’t listen to him anymore. He’s so annoying. I saw a quiet room inside the Pleasure Prison with his tag on it, so I locked him in there until we can sort things through.”
“Good idea,” Tray said.
“Anyway,” Brigit said. “So… the gang’s all here. Now what should we do?”
“Well,” Baby started. “Here’s where we’re at. Um… the security beacons on the near side are all in the process of rebooting after their unfortunate encounter with a dragonbee bot swarm. The beacons on the far side of the gate are currently at war with sixteen battle-class Akeelian warships and seven Cygnian warships, and six hundred and seventy-one random Harem citizens are trying to sneak past them to get home. Crux is inside the spin node, with Luck at the controls, looking for some version of Corla so he can find his sexy soulmate superpower. Succubus is still in there too—not really sure what she’s doing. Nyleena and Delphi are locked inside medical pods. Veila is in the lockup trying to talk the princesses out of their rebellion. Tycho and Corla are both inside the medical bay, frozen inside cryopods for safekeeping. Flicka stole Lady Luck and left with her homemade beebot army, hence the whole rebooting thing going on out on the near side. Two hundred and sixteen thousand Harem citizens are currently working their normal, everyday jobs like none of this is happening. Five million, seven hundred thousand and twenty-three are locked in their quarters. Big Dicker is running the docking bay. Jimmy, Serpint, and Valor are looking at vintage Cygnian comics arguing over which superpower is the most powerful—”
“Wait,” Draden said. “Serpint is here?”
“Oh, yes. Someone go get Serpint,” Tray said.
“Done. He’s on his way,” Baby said.
“His way to where?” Draden asked. “Where the hell am I?”
“Excuse me? I haven’t finished the update,” Baby said.
“Oh. Sorry,” Draden said.
“Continue, please,” Brigit added.
“Booty is missing—”
“She’s not,” Draden said. “She’s back home with her sun-gods.”
“I have questions about that,” Baby said. “But again, I’m not done yet.”
“Continue,” Brigit added again.
“ALCOR is with the Akeelians, it seems?”
“That’s right,” Mighty Boss confirmed.
“The Akeelian boys are in medical and a few are wandering around the docking bay. And…” Baby took a moment to gather his thoughts. “OK. That’s it. I think. Did I miss anyone?”
“Well,” Tray offered, “there is one thing we didn’t mention.”
“What’s that?” Baby asked.
A loud klaxon alarm began blaring through the station.
“Hmmm, that doesn’t sound good,” Draden said.
“No,” Baby replied. “Well, quick update. It seems that all the sentient ships in ALCOR’s showroom have been brought online through some backdoor protocol.”
“Yeah… about that,” Brigit said. “Um… we brought a few hundred insane girl minds on board. And, well, those heathen Akeelian boys are probably drop-loading them into the showroom ships as we speak.”
“Right,” Baby said. “That’s… good to know. However, unfortunately, that’s not why the alarms are blaring. It seems the Akeelians and Cygnians have overpowered the security beacons on the far side and they are coming through the gate as we speak.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - CRUX
I pull back from our kiss feeling sad. And then I stare