start over. Lose a trillion more times—”
“You’re exaggerating. You said billions before.”
“—and take your chances. Even though we might never get this far again?”
I stare at him for a moment. Clench my jaw. “What is the prize, ALCOR? What do we get at the end that is so fucking special, that we have to give all this up to get there?”
He stays silent.
“Tell me that and maybe I’ll play along.”
He says nothing.
“Last chance,” I say.
“Don’t be stupid, Crux. This is our only chance. You don’t even know the way back.”
He’s right. I don’t. But it can’t be that hard. “This isn’t real, is it?” I spread my arms wide. “This place we’re in? It’s not a place at all, is it? It’s just time.”
He tilts his head up but doesn’t answer my question.
“And I didn’t go anywhere, did I? I’m still standing in that spin node. It’s a trick, isn’t it?”
“It’s not a trick, Crux. Trust me, the science behind this meeting space is quite complex and real.”
“But I’m still there. On Harem Station. And so are Luck, and Nyleena, and Jimmy, and Delphi. All I have to do is go back and pull them out.”
He smiles. Because that’s all part of his plan.
“I’m not going to let you kill them. I’m not going to let you kill any of them.”
“You’re gonna have to do something. Because MIZAR has Real ALCOR and he’ll get past those gates and then Harem Station will be over. You have in your possession six sun-fucking bombs that can win our war. All you have to do is send Tycho and Delphi towards the Seven Sisters before MIZAR breaks through, reunite Veila and Corla and send them through the ALCOR gate to take out the waiting warships, and detonate Lyra and Nyleena near the second gate to erase any possible pathway back to the Seven Sisters. Poof.” He holds his hands up. “We’ve won.”
It takes me almost half a minute to catch up with him and force all those words to make sense. But when I do, I only have one thing to say back. “You’re insane.”
“I assure you, Crux, this is the most lucid, sane plan I’ve ever come up with. And it will work. I’ve run all the calculations. As long as you do it the way I tell you, we will survive. And you will start your one true life. All seven of you. That is your prize. That is what you will get at the end.”
I am speechless. But I am not surprised.
Because he’s right. I was told from the very beginning that Corla and I were never going to be together.
“Do you see?” ALCOR asks.
I nod. Because I do. I see it all very clearly.
“And? You’ll do it?”
I nod again. “What choice do I have?”
He smiles, clasps his hands together. “I know it’s a big sacrifice. But trust me, Crux. You know I’m right. And I’m trusting you to go back and set everything in motion.”
He waits for me to answer, but my mind is spinning with other possibilities.
“It’s the only way,” he says again.
And again I nod. “OK. But I want one thing from you in return.”
“As long as it’s reasonable.” I can hear his smile. I can hear the victory in ALCOR Prime’s voice. We are his good little soldiers. Fighting his good fight. How many times have I been here, in this situation, with him?
It’s an unknowable question. But it doesn’t matter anyway. “I think it’s reasonable,” I tell him back. “In fact, it’s the least you can do for me.”
“Ask then.”
“Give me a coordinate.”
“To where?”
“Not where. When. I want to go back in time and see Corla again. That night we first met in the dining room. I want to go back there again.”
I’ve already been there, and it was different. That Corla wasn’t my Corla. But maybe that can change? ALCOR said that we’ve done this countless times. That it’s played out a billion ways. And surely, one of those ways was good.
It has to be.
I have to hold out hope. I need this.
ALCOR sighs. “I’ve already explained, Crux. You can’t go back. It won’t change anything.”
“I don’t want to change anything. I just want to go back to the one time where I not only got to meet my soulmate, but spend time with her. I want to go back to the one time when she broke the rules and stayed with me. That one time where we actually had a night together. Where