after coming out of the spin node recedes and then… then something becomes clear.
I look up at the ceiling, considering the Baby. “This is wrong,” I say. “None of this is right.”
“Well, if you’d shut up and listen to me for a minute I could explain our plan,” Valor says. “You’re being really weird.”
I point to my chest. “I’m being weird?” Then I laugh. “You’re standing next to the most hated woman in the freaking galaxy. She is responsible for untold evil. She has been hunting us!”
“Not us,” Valor says. “Just listen to me!”
“Oh, my mistake. She was hunting Corla.”
“I was after Corla,” Veila says. “But not for the reasons you think. She and I were a—”
“Do not,” I say, cutting her off. “Don’t you fucking say it, Veila.”
Her mouth is open, those last few words right on the tip of her tongue. And for a moment I think she really will shut up. But then she takes a breath and all the lies spill out anyway. “We were a team. Like Nyleena and Lyra. I was taking her somewhere safe—”
“Just stop it!” I yell. I turn to Valor. “You’re actually buying this shit, aren’t you?”
“You don’t know the whole story, Crux.”
“Then tell me. What am I missing? Because the way I see it, you sold us out. And now she has control of this whole station. Everyone is locked up. Tell me that’s an accident, Valor. Go ahead. Say it out loud. You need to hear how stupid that sounds.”
“May I interject?” Baby says. When no one answer him, he continues. “Why don’t we wake everyone up? Hmm? Then we’ll all be back on the same page. We all want the best for Harem Station—”
I throw up my hands. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? No, we don’t all want what’s best for Harem Station. ALCOR wants… whatever the fuck he’s after. Luck wants to save Nyleena and his babies, Jimmy wants to see Earth and be with Delphi, Tray wants to save this Brigit person, Valor wants us all to believe that Veila is here to save us—”
“I never said that!”
“—Serpint wants to settle down with Lyra, and I want…” I sigh. “I want…”
“What do you want?” Veila asks. “Hmm? Do you even know? Let me guess. You want Corla. All to yourself.”
I shake my head. “No. That’s not actually what I want. I want…”
I know exactly what I want. I just can’t say it out loud. Because once I do it feels like I’ll have to do something to make it happen.
“What is it?” Valor asks. “Just say it, Crux.”
“I want out. There. I said it. I want out of this place. This fight. This… everything. I never asked for any of this. I never agreed to any of it. I just didn’t have much of a choice back then. It was stay and be someone’s lab rat on Wayward Station or leave and be someone’s fugitive.”
“That’s not what you were,” Baby says.
“It is. He tricked me. He’s still tricking me. And I fell for it. I’m still falling for it.”
“So you want to leave?” Valor scoffs. “That’s stupid, Crux. Corla is here. You can wake her up. It’s time now. Veila and Corla—”
“It’s not time, Valor. It’s never going to be time. Because Corla was only crystal-clear about one thing back when we escaped. We would never see each other again, and if we did, I should go the other direction. Because it was never meant to be. And I’m starting to think that’s true. You have no idea what Luck did when you were gone, Valor. While you and Tray were busy living some fantasy life in a virtual for a thousand years I was here. Trying to hold it all together. You have no fucking clue what he did to me.”
“Then tell me. Just…” Valor sighs. “Just tell me what happened.”
I shake my head. I can’t tell him. Not with Veila here.
“Hey,” Valor says, turning to Veila. “Can you just… give us a minute?” She frowns, but he places a hand on her arm. “Please.”
“It’s gonna take more than a minute,” I murmur.
“I’ll go… check systems,” Baby says. Then the air goes still the way it does when the AI god disappears from a room.
“Fine,” Veila says. “I’ll be in my quarters.” And for a moment I think she’s going to leave and not add anything to this already fucked up situation. But she doesn’t. Of course she doesn’t. She’s Veila. “But I