Jimmy will think I’m insane. “Is there some kind of… welcoming ceremony planned?”
“Wasn’t that what we did this afternoon when they came aboard?”
“Yeah, but is there anything else on the schedule tomorrow? For like… noon?”
He thinks for a moment. “Yeah. There are a couple delegations from Cetus System here right now too. I’m pretty sure we’re hanging with them for lunch.”
I try to remember how the conversation went twenty-one years ago. What he’s saying sounds familiar, but I can’t be sure. It doesn’t matter though. He and his father weren’t invited last time, and if they’re going to be busy with the Cetus people, then he’s not invited this time, either.
If it’s even happening this time.
But… why else would the Cygnians be here? And why did Princess Corla come in to the dining room, take one look at me, and run the other way?
Well, Crux, that internal voice in my head says. You did the same thing.
I did, didn’t I?
I went the other way because I know. Not about what will happen tomorrow. About what will happen for the next twenty-one years.
What if she’s locked in some kind of spin node whirlwind too? She has been on ice for sun knows how long. I’ve had her in that cryopod for a year. And she was sending me messages, wasn’t she? Did I make that up?
Reality seems very precarious and subjective at the moment.
Then all kinds of things I’ve conveniently forgotten begin to resurface in the front of my mind.
ALCOR killed Draden and brought him back to life. Princess Lyra and Queen Corla arrived on Harem. ALCOR died. Delphi appeared. There was an asshole copy of ALCOR in the Pleasure Prison. Not to mention some rogue AI called Brigit and a Succubus infiltrating our systems. Luck opened a spin node for Tray and Valor to escape. The princess rebellion. Luck… killed me. Shot me point blank in the chest.
And I died. I fucking died.
That’s when the Corla dreams started. Maybe I’m still dead? Maybe that’s what this is? The whole life flashing before your eyes thing? But isn’t that supposed to be fast? Isn’t that the definition of ‘flash’?
This… trip I’m on. It feels like I’ve lived lifetimes.
And that’s just the parts I know. There’s a whole other story going on in the background. Maybe dozens of them? Maybe hundreds of them?
Draden’s story.
Tray’s story.
Booty’s story.
Is Real ALCOR dead or alive?
Where is the Asshole?
And what the fuck is Mighty Minions up to?
Then there’s Baby. And Flicka. And Tycho. And Veila.
“Crux?” Jimmy says. I turn and look at him. “You OK?”
I take a breath, ready to spit out an affirmative. But I can’t manage it. So I shake my head. “Jimmy,” I say calmly. “I have to tell you something. And you’re going to think I’m crazy, but I don’t care. I have to tell someone, and you’re the only friend I have.”
“OK,” he says, hesitantly, but seriously for once. “OK, then. Tell me. What’s going on?”
So I talk. I start with this same day, twenty-one years ago. I expect him to laugh. Or at the very least stop me to ask what it’s like to fuck a Cygnian princess. But he just narrows his eyes at me when I get to the breeding ceremony part. And then they widen several times when I describe what we did and where we went.
I talk for an eternity. I tell him everything. And still he says nothing.
I fill him in on all the years between then and now. All the things we did, and learned, and saw. I tell him about Xyla, and ALCOR, and the Pleasure Prison. I tell him about locking Corla up inside a security beacon and then I tell him what’s happening to me now.
“I’m stuck, man. I walked into that spin node and I don’t know where I am or what any of it means. I met my daughter and son, Jimmy. As kids. I never knew them as kids. I have seen several versions of Corla. Or Carla, as she’s called on Earth. I have seen Earth, Jimmy. And now I’m here. Back in the moment where it all started. And I don’t know what to do. Make sure it happens again? Go through it all again and hope we can change the inevitable outcome we’re spinning towards? Or change everything?”
And then there’s nothing more to say and I just stop talking.
He just stares at me.
“Say something.”
“I…” He rubs a hand down his face. “I don’t know what to