don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t understand what you’re asking me to believe.”
“I’m not asking you anything. I’m telling you. This. Is. Wrong. It’s like we went to sleep one day where the universe was one way. One thing. And when we woke up, it was something else. It doesn’t make sense. It feels like a lie. And you know what? I’m tired of the sun-fucked lie. I don’t care what happens next. I just need to know what’s real.”
There have been tense moments between my brothers and me before. Lots of them, actually. Especially when we were all teenagers and we took our turn going through the year of rage.
But this situation between Jimmy and Luck at the moment is something else altogether.
After I tried explaining myself to Valor, he paused and went silent. I know it makes no sense. But… does it really make no sense? I mean, take a good hard look at the last twenty years and tell me any of it makes sense.
And yet here we are. Dealing with the aftereffects of a time freeze.
Valor, Serpint, and I are, right now, standing in the hallway of the holding center of the lower-level Harem Station jail. The princesses are all locked up one hallway over, but I can hear them screaming through the fucking walls.
They are pissed. And if I thought for a moment that one of them could explode the way our girls do, I’d already be on a ship heading for the Seven Sisters. Ready to take my chances in the unknown darkness of space.
But as far as I know, those reds, blues, golds, and greens in there can’t blow up anything. They are good fighters, I’ll give them that. But they aren’t weapons.
Valor is telling Luck to calm down, even though Luck isn’t saying anything at the moment. He’s just glaring at me with hatred in his eyes.
Serpint is standing behind me. Like… if Jimmy and Luck come at him, he’s gonna let them take me out first. Nice, Serp. Thanks.
I would feel annoyed about this, but in my mind Serpint is still the baby. He’s still that little kid from long ago. I’ve never actually thought of him as a grown-up. And he’s on my side. He’s the only one on my side. Lyra is unconscious inside a medical pod and at first I thought this was gonna piss Serpint off.
But he surprised me by acting rational about the decision. He nodded at me when I suggested it to him. And then he said, “I don’t want her to blow up, Crux. Do whatever it takes to stop it. Please.”
His words were soft. Maybe even a little bit desperate. And he was sad. I haven’t talked to him a lot over the past ten years. He was gone most of the time. And even though he’s been home for a year now and we’ve seen each other every spin at least a couple of times, we didn’t do a lot of talking then either.
He was preoccupied with Lyra. In love with Lyra. ALCOR Prime was wrong. This thing we have with these girls, it’s real. You only have to look at Serpint to know that.
And fine. Maybe Delphi isn’t Jimmy’s soulmate, but they are in love. And that’s the only thing that matters. I have a feeling that Jimmy in this time loop isn’t the Jimmy who is supposed to be here. Or maybe it’s Delphi? Either way, they are soulmates in one of those time loops.
Valor and Veila… well. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell how Valor actually feels about her because he’s just a loyal sonofabitch. But if he’s decided he’s on her side, who am I to tell him not to be?
And even though Luck appears to love Nyleena—I’m still convinced this Luck is not ours. He’s some other iteration of Luck. Like Christopher was of me.
Corla and I don’t count either. I don’t have any clue what’s going on with Corla and me. We are star crossed. That’s the only way to explain it.
In fact—maybe we’re all crossed? They’re not star crossed like Corla and me, but ALCOR Prime said that the time loops are all converging. And who knows how long that’s been going on? Maybe our entire lives?
Anyway, I’m not holding it against Serpint for standing behind me. I want to protect what he and Lyra stand for.
They make what I’m fighting for worth it.
And if Serpint and Lyra can find true love, then,