were the very first people I ever made. You are my family. And even though you’ve had your doubts, I think deep down, you know that. I’ve run this scenario—this very same scenario, Crux—billions of times. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“No.” I throw up my hands. “No. I do not understand a sun-fucked thing you’re saying, ALCOR.”
“We have lived billions of lifetimes together. You have come to ALCOR Station with your brothers on a ship stolen from Wayward Station millions of times, at least. But even before I started that particular loop, we lived other places in the galaxies. Other stations. We’ve gotten pretty far in the other loops, but this is the only one where all seven of you boys come out alive in the end. I could’ve taken my victory lap fifteen thousand years ago. I could’ve killed MIZAR dozens of times. I could’ve sealed the doorway through the Seven Sisters and been done with it. But I didn’t. Because I wanted all seven of you boys with me when I won. So when I say that killing those girls is the only way, I really mean it.”
I think about that for a minute. A long minute that might even turn into several eternities. Because it’s… touching. In a way. It proves something that I have hoped for since my very first meeting with the other Real ALCOR.
He loves me.
He really does. I really believe it.
But…
His ending will take everything away too.
Serpint will lose Lyra. Jimmy will lose Delphi. Luck will lose Nyleena. Tray will lose whoever this Brigit girl is. Valor will lose—look, I give no fucks about Veila, but she is his soulmate. And he will not give her up easily.
But most of all, I will lose Corla.
And I know I’ve been telling myself that I was ready to walk away from her, but I’m not. I’m nowhere near ready to lose her for good. It was all posturing that came out of confusion and fear.
I want my chance.
This cannot be how it ends.
“What’s left,” I ask him, “if we lose everyone we love?”
“You will not lose everyone. Why can’t you ever hear me, Crux? You will have Serpint—”
“And Draden, and Jimmy, and Luck, and Valor, and Tray. I did hear you. But—”
“And that’s not enough?”
“Those girls are our soulmates!”
“They are not, I assure you. They are very dangerous girls who have an artificial sex-link to you boys. And that’s it.”
But that’s not all it is. “I get it, OK? I do.” My head is throbbing. So hard I can barely think straight. “The Akeelians made us—“
“No!” he snaps. “I made you. The Cygnians made those princesses. It’s not the same thing.”
“Fine, it’s not the same. But you don’t understand! The link—it’s not sexual.”
He laughs.
“It’s not just sexual. I love her, ALCOR. We love them.”
“They manipulated you, Crux. Why can’t you hear me? I have done this so many times now, and I’ve let myself lose each and every one of those times. Just so I could save you boys in the end. You will find other girls. You will make other deep connections—“
“No!” I yell.
“Yes. Either we do it my way, or one of you dies. Which brother will it be, Crux? Which one will you give up just so you can try to keep those girls alive? Hmm? Will it be Jimmy? Serpint? Draden? Which one of them? Luck?” He pauses. “Even if you think you could live with yourself if you gave up Luck, you won’t be able to.”
“I’m not killing Luck to save someone else. Don’t be stupid.”
“And I’m not giving any of you up to save some artificially-generated women who don’t matter in the end.”
“They matter to us!”
ALCOR frowns, bows his head a little. “You might not believe me, but I understand how you feel, Crux. I cannot lose any of you. Not after I got us this far. Not after all the ways I had to manipulate this time loop you’re in to be here in this frozen moment with you. My plan is a good one. It will work. And then we can rebuild and—“
“This can’t be the only way.” I get down on my knees. I hold my hands together to beg. “Please, ALCOR. We can just… start over. Try again. Please.”
He swallows hard and frowns at me. “It won’t work. Focus on this for a moment. OK? I have been through this particular loop so many times and only a few of them ever offered me