the first words you’re gonna say to me, yeah?!”
He shook his head with pure and utter disappointment. “Look at you. Just look at you! You have all the money in the world, and you look and smell like you’re fuckin’ homeless! How much have you drank today, Cash? Considerin’ it’s only seven o’clock.”
“Wow,” I breathed out, blown away by the harsh words he spewed at me. Feeling like I was in a time warp, as if I’d never left in the first place. “I mean, you just keep throwin’ blow after blow, huh? It’s like you never lowered your gun.”
“I just got home and rushed upstairs. I thought you were an intruder. What are you doin’ here?”
“Wit’ cops like you on the force, I’d imagine you have that kind of thing under control. Unless maybe your slippin’ in your old age.”
“What on earth would possess you to sneak in through a window? I could have shot you!”
“If you think I came here to see you, then you’re dead fuckin’ wrong. Trust me, old man, you’re the last person I wanted to see.”
“Did you come here lookin’ for somethin’ to take?”
“Are you for real? I’m not a fuckin’ criminal!”
“Really? Tell that to your rap sheet. You’ve been arrested for breakin’ and enterin’ before. A couple of times actually.”
I scoffed out, “I know you didn’t wanna see me when I lived here, but I’ll be damned if you stand there and act like you don’t know I could buy this entire fuckin’ town!”
He shook his head. “Still got your head up your ass, I see. You can’t even think for one second ’bout how this might affect anyone else. How your actions cause a ripple effect in our family.”
“No! It was your fuckin’ actions the day you decided to lay your son out in front of the entire city!”
“Why did you come here, Cash? To torture me? To hurt me? To get your mom upset? I’m glad she stayed behind at the Pierces’ party. She isn’t here to see her son, once again, drunk as shit wit’ no respect for anyone! Not even himself!”
With the way he said Pierces’ party, I could tell he didn’t have a clue about who Bailey belonged to. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disheartened by that. It shouldn’t have surprised me, though. My father was oblivious to who I was my whole life. Why I expected him to feel a connection to his granddaughter was beyond me.
He didn’t leave from the spot he was cemented to by the door. We may have been only a few feet apart, but there were thousands of miles between us. The farthest distance between two people would always be pride. He didn’t want me here, that much I was sure of.
Proving my point, he added, “While you pretend we don’t exist, you’re still a reflection of our family. Every headline, every rumor, every time you end up on the news, it affects us all! You’re exactly the man I warned you ’bout. You’re everythin’ I prayed to God you wouldn’t be! Do you have any idea what your debauchery has put us through?! Do you even fuckin’ care? Obviously not, or else you wouldn’t show up here wasted, proud as fuck. Expectin’ me to be happy my son is nothin’ but a fuckin’ drunk!”
“I ain’t a drunk,” I bit though a clenched jaw.
“Keep tellin’ yourself that, Cash. Let’s see how long it takes until I read ’bout you bein’ in rehab. Honestly, I’m more shocked it hasn’t happened yet. You can pretend and hide behind your awards, your money, your success, but I know you, and that shit doesn’t make you happy. So drink away your feelins’. Go right ahead and fall down another bottle of Jack, ’cuz I’m tellin’ you right here, right now ... I don’t ever wanna see you like this ever again. Unless you came here to tell me you need help in gettin’ sober, I suggest you leave the way you came into my house. Like nothin’ but a goddamn coward.”
That night, I learned a cruel lesson. One I wouldn’t understand until it was too late.
“So that’s it? You think you get to just judge and shit all over me, and ask me to go? No. That ain’t how this is gonna go down. I may drink, but I don’t got a fuckin’ problem. I can stop whenever I want.”
“Bull—”
“No! You got your chance to spit your poison. I ain’t that little boy