that up, Harley? What was I supposed to say? We’ve never even come close to bringing up the topic, but in my defense, a huge part of me always thought you knew. Why else would you let me bring Cash into her life through the music you know he loves? Jackson did as well. My brother may be an asshole, but he never stopped me. You guys are upset with him, I get it. He fucked up. I don’t know what happened between you guys, however, I do know that much.” I paused to let my words sink in. “Cash isn’t doing good. He hasn’t for years. I’m worried about him, and you should be too.”
“Cash has always been reckless.”
“It’s more than that, Harley. It’s way more than that. He’s not in a good place, and I can tell it’s been that way for a long time.”
“He has everythin’ he’s ever wanted, Journey.”
“He doesn’t have you or his daughter, not to mention his family. He has no one, and he thinks it’s for the best.”
“Journey, what are you doin’ wit’ him? Did you go to his concert lookin’ for him?”
I nodded.
“Wow.”
“I care about him, a lot, and I know you still do.”
“You don’t know what you’re sayin’. Cash might as well be a stranger to me. I don’t know that man anymore, and maybe I never did.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me all these years? I see him in Bailey every single day. She’s a constant reminder of a man I thought was my best friend.”
“Har—”
“No. I don’t want to hear anymore. Cash didn’t just hurt me, Journey. He broke me.”
Three little words. Just three little words.
That I’d be saying...
One day too.
Chapter 9
“Despite everything. No one can dictate who you are to other people.”
-Prince
<>Journey<>
I sat by the pool at Bailey’s birthday party, alone with my feet dangling in the water. The repercussions from my poor choices swallowing me whole and eating me alive.
“Mija,” Mom stated in a concerned Spanish tone, already in tune with what I was experiencing. Camila wasn’t my biological mother, but she felt me in ways that proved science wrong. Like a mother’s sixth sense. She sat beside me and put her feet in the water as well, getting straight to the point. “Journey, why did you bring Cash back here?”
“You saw?”
She nodded.
“How much did you see?”
“Enough.”
“How much do you know?”
“Enough.”
Her eyes moved toward the huge bay window of the living room. Where Bailey was inside, singing with a pretend microphone in her hand and dancing with her friends.
Mom bumped my shoulder with hers. “Blood doesn’t make someone a parent, Journey. You, more than anyone else, are aware of that.”
“I don’t want to talk about her,” I countered, referring to my biological mother.
“You never want to talk about her. Since the first time I tried explaining to you who she was, you shut her out. It’s only a matter of time before it catches up with you, Mija.”
“I brought Cash back because he has the right to be in Bailey’s life.”
“That’s not your decision to make.”
“Nothing in my life has been my decision. I didn’t ask to be born, but selfishly, on account of Bailey, here I am trying to help Cash before it’s too late.”
“Jour—”
“He’s in deep. You saw him. You know Cash. I don’t want to lose the man, not when I just found him again.”
Brushing the hair away from my face, she took in my words for a few seconds. “When I told you to go find him, I didn’t know what your true intentions were, Journey. I’ve always wanted you to live your life to the fullest, but what you did today hurt your brother more than I’ve ever seen him hurt before. This isn’t just about Cash. It involves four people’s lives. One of which is a nine-year-old little girl who doesn’t know anyone but Jackson. Think about her.”
“I am. Bailey can have more love, more support, more everything with Cash in her life. What’s wrong with that?”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. I believe they can make it work when they’re ready. You can’t force it like you did this afternoon, Mija.”
She was right, and I learned my lesson today at Cash, Harley, and Jackson’s expense. “You’re making me feel worse than I already do.”
“The truth hurts more than anything else.”
“Don’t I know it.” My emotions getting the best of me, I stressed, “I can’t let him go,” with tears in my eyes. “Mom,