we lived most of our lives. This was just another bad decision brought on by the demon taking up residence on my back.
Before I knew it, my mind randomly shifted to questions I desperately needed answers to.
Did my parents know the truth about Bailey like Journey? Could they feel the connection to their granddaughter the first time they held her in their arms, like she had? Did my sisters know the truth? Did the rest of our extended family?
Questions tore through my mind at warp speed. Each one more crucial than the last. I wondered how much they knew or felt in the presence of my baby girl, hurting and healing me all at once. It was a clusterfuck of emotions with each step that brought me closer to the house I grew up in.
With one foot in front of the other, I made my way toward the tree I used to use to sneak outta my bedroom for gigs. Hoping I’d still be able to climb the damn thing after all these years. I swear it looked bigger than it used to be.
Grabbing ahold of the branch lowest to the grass, I dug my fingers into the wood and lifted myself up. My muscle memory kicked in despite the fact I was drunk as shit. The pointy twigs scratched my skin and ripped my clothes with every inch I climbed.
I felt no pain.
When I quickly opened the window, I realized I was stuck on a fuckin’ branch.
“Motherfucker,” I griped, kicking my foot. “Come on!” Yanking my leg a little too hard, I lost my balance and fell face-first into my bedroom onto the wood floor. “Goddamn it!” I tumbled until I halted flat on my back.
Wheezing out air from my lungs, I grabbed onto my chest. “The fuck?” I chuckled, blankly staring up at the ceiling.
Immediately, I found Harley’s bunny in the texture of the ceiling. The noose around my neck grew tighter, strangling me the longer I stayed on the floor.
“I see a bunny,” Harley stated, laying on the ground next to me in my bedroom.
“Where?”
She pointed to the middle of the ceiling. “There.”
“That ain’t a bunny.”
“What? It’s right there. It’s ears, whiskers, and tail.”
I cocked my head to the side. “No, that ain’t a bunny.”
“Cash!” she screamed into my ear. “Are you blind?!”
“No, but now I’m deaf.”
She giggled. “Serves you right for makin’ fun of my bunny.”
“There ain’t no bunny.”
“Then what do you see?”
“I see your face.”
“What? Where?”
“Right in front of me. I’m lookin’ at you.”
“Ugh! You’re such a smartass, Cash McGraw.”
“I’m your smartass best friend, Harley Jameson.”
She smirked, smacking my chest. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you see my bunny, though?”
I smiled, reminiscing about all the things that hurt my heart before inhaling a deep breath. The years flew by, and yet sometimes it felt as though I was stuck in this place in time where I lived and breathed the past I wanted to forget. Everything in my life moved forward, but my mind stayed rooted to the things I couldn’t change.
It didn’t matter how much I hoped, wished, and prayed ...
I was good for no one.
Proving it time and time again.
What are you doin’, Cash? Why are you here?
I willed my body to turn over onto my hands and knees to get up and leave, needing to get the fuck outta there. As soon as I was about to stand, the door to the bedroom slammed open. Out of nowhere, the person I least expected to see was standing in front of me. Bringing me face-to-face.
With my old man.
Except, it was the receiving end of his gun...
I was staring at.
Chapter 11
“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts.”
-Jimi Hendrix
<>Cash<>
My father instantly jerked back. The expression on his face was identical to the one that still haunted me from the last time we were glaring at each other.
Slowly, I leaned back onto my knees, raising my arms up in the air in a surrendering gesture. “You gonna lower that Glock, Pops?”
His eyes widened, realizing his gun was aimed right in between my eyes. He didn’t hesitate, bringing it down to his side.
“Well, hello to you too, old man,” I strained in a tone he wouldn’t appreciate. Tugging the hair away from my face, I stumbled to stand. Never breaking eye contact with him.
“You’re drunk,” he stated from across the room, once I found my footing.
“That’s the first thing you’re gonna say to me?! After all this time?! All these years?!” I roared, suddenly pissed as shit. “That’s