not what you think I am.’
‘It is not my intention to be coarse,’ Ashmael said. ‘This aspect of my visit has revealed itself in rather a cumbersome way.’
‘Clinical, I’d say. The implication is that you are prepared to endure my company in order to achieve your aims.’
Ashmael pulled a rueful face. ‘That’s not the case. I’m sorry. When I said I couldn’t get you out of my mind, I wasn’t lying.’
Seel stood up. ‘Would you like to see the town?’
Ashmael stared at him through narrowed eyes. ‘That is courteous of you, tiahaar.’
‘Courtesy costs nothing,’ Seel said.
A group of younger hara had appointed themselves as grooms to Ashmael’s sedu horse, which stood near the centre of town, idly stamping its hooves and devouring the food offerings made to it. Ashmael went over to the group, and chatting affably told them they could ride the horse if they wanted to. This offer was met with unrestrained cries of delight. The hara were not simply pleased by being able to ride a Gelaming horse, but because Ashmael had spoken to them.
As they walked away, Seel said, ‘Is that wise, Ash? I don’t want my hara disappearing into thin air.’
‘They won’t open a portal, don’t worry. Zephyr is a wise beast. He’ll trot round like an old nag for them.’
‘You like a well trained creature, disciplined to an inch of its life.’
‘On the contrary. I prefer spirit. Is that your Nayati? How quaint.’
Seel took him inside the temple. It felt unused and forlorn since Orien’s death, even though hara still used it regularly. It had become a shrine to Orien’s memory. Some of them prayed to his spirit there.
Ashmael admired the carved wooden columns that supported the roof and praised the artistic skills of their creators.
Seel only shuddered. ‘This place should be knocked down and rebuilt,’ he said, rubbing his arms. He knew the Gelaming had performed banishing and cleansing rituals before the altar, but for him the air would always smell of blood. It was no longer a spiritual place.
He only realised he had closed his eyes when he felt Ashmael’s hands on his shoulders. ‘It’s bad for you, Seel,’ Ashmael said softly. ‘Let it go. This is part of why you should leave here.’
I don’t want to fall into your arms so easily, Seel thought, doing so. He didn’t want to share breath either, but was powerless to resist, because his heart and body desired it.
‘This place is a tomb,’ Ashmael said. ‘You don’t belong here.’
‘It is not,’ Seel snapped. ‘It’s recovering. It will recover.’
‘It’s not your life’s work to heal Saltrock’s heart,’ Ashmael said. ‘You proved something in building this place. It’s time to move on.’
‘Are you sure Thiede didn’t send you?’
Ashmael laughed. ‘You know that he didn’t. You want to be what I am. I know you do. You covet what you see in me. And you can have it.’
‘That’s offensive,’ Seel said. ‘I’m not like that.’ But he didn’t pull away.
‘Aren’t you?’ Ashmael murmured, running his fingers through Seel’s hair. ‘It’s the truth, isn’t it? You know you are bigger than what’s been given to you, and you deserve more. I respect you, Seel. You will not find betrayal in me.’ He took Seel’s face in his hands to share breath once more, and Seel knew that Ashmael had been referring, if only partly, to Flick. The Gelaming knew all about his private life, because they saw it as their business to know. And who was Flick in comparison to these shining stars of Immanion? Who was he to apportion blame and walk out of Seel’s life? A flicker of resentment and grief burned briefly but hot in Seel’s heart. In that moment, his decision was made.
Colt and Stringer saw Seel’s new relationship with Ashmael as a positive healing thing. They were not aware of the darker undercurrents and Seel didn’t enlighten them. Ashmael took to visiting Saltrock fairly regularly. Seel always looked forward to these visits, but somehow they didn’t feel real. In bed, Ashmael taught him things he’d never dreamed possible, all the while respecting Seel’s pride and pretending Seel already knew of them. Seel felt as if he were being groomed for something. Taking aruna with Ashmael was like being trained to explode the world. He could feel immense power simmering round him and yet he could not dispel the suspicion, however slight, that Thiede’s hand was behind it. He was under no illusion that this relationship was permanent.
One day, a few months after Ashmael’s first