no longer a child,’ Lileem said, ‘so don’t speak to me as if I am. This isn’t an idle fancy, Flick. I feel it.’
‘But why would Pellaz help us escape? It doesn’t make sense. We’ve been led to believe he wants us – or at least me – in Immanion.’
‘We saw him at Atagatisel,’ Lileem said. ‘He let us go then. He helped us escape. I’m sure of it. And now he has done so again.’
‘We have no proof of that. It stretches belief, to say the least.’
‘We don’t know everything,’ Lileem said, ‘and as Cobweb told Ulaume, we don’t really know what’s going on in Pell’s head. Maybe he’s more constrained as Tigron than he ever was as a normal har.’
Flick cocked his head to one side and regarded Lileem through narrow eyes. ‘You know what?’ he said. ‘You have a thing about the Cevarros. You have a secret liking for Terez and now you want to have a spiritual connection with Pellaz. You already have Mima as a roon friend: can’t you be content with that or is it your aim to collect the entire family?’
Lileem could not repress her laughter. ‘Now that is an attractive thought! I’d not considered it, but perhaps you’re right.’
‘Ah – so you do have a soft spot for Terez! I thought as much.’
‘I’m not sure it’s that. He fascinates me. But anyway, it’s irrelevant now, because we are so far away from him and I know now I can never...’ She paused. ‘Stop sidetracking me. We were talking about Pellaz. You are prejudiced against him, and I understand your reasons, but can’t you just have an open mind about this?’
‘I find it hard to believe he’d know about Aruhani.’
‘Seeing as you’ve been trying so hard these past few years to uncreate the dehar you created?’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘You know.’ Lileem knew this was not the time and place to introduce such a sensitive topic, but couldn’t help herself. ‘Ever since the Uigenna took you, you’ve turned your back on all your work. Something happened, didn’t it? Something you didn’t like. I felt you call upon Aruhani, when I was crouched in the cellar of the white house with Mima. He came, didn’t he?’
‘Maybe I was playing with fire,’ Flick said in a fierce low voice. ‘I am not like Orien, or even Ulaume. I thought I was something, then I found out I wasn’t. I’m not a great magus, Lee. I called up a demon and learned how dangerous that can be. That’s all I’ll say.’
‘You’re wrong,’ Lileem said. ‘Whatever happened, you shouldn’t turn away from the dehara. Aruhani helped us escape the Gelaming. He is not a demon.’
‘I created him from the darkest corners of myself,’ Flick said. ‘Perhaps he can be something else for you, but for me he will always be the amoral force that made me…’ He shook his head. ‘You don’t understand. I was like them, Lee. It was pelki, and I wanted it. Enjoyed it. I never want to feel like that again.’
Lileem stared at him for some moments. She wasn’t absolutely sure what he was trying to tell her, but it was nothing like she’d imagined. She’d believed Aruhani had made him violent, made him kill. He hadn’t spoken of this before, she was sure. He hadn’t even told Ulaume. ‘He is the dehar of life and death,’ she said, ‘as well as aruna, in all its aspects. Maybe you didn’t know him then as well as you thought you did, and maybe you called upon the wrong aspect, or weren’t specific enough, but you can’t blame him for what happened.’
‘I don’t. I blame myself. Aruhani came from me.’ Flick rubbed his face with his hands and pushed back his hair. For a few moments, he stared up at the smoke blackened beams of the ceiling, his fingers pressed against his scalp. ‘Strange I should speak of this now. I never thought I would.’
Lileem embraced him and he laid his head on her shoulder. ‘It’s gone,’ she said. ‘You let it out like Ulaume let out the scream ghosts from Pell’s old home.’
Flick squeezed her briefly. ‘I wonder,’ he said.
A fog descended from the mountains and poured over the river. The Freyhellan long boat moored at the river docks looked ghostly in its misty shroud. Galdra accompanied the travellers to the boat to see them off, as did many other Freyhellans. Lileem felt as if they were leaving old friends: the visit here