glass of wine he’d put before her. He was watching her again and she wanted to tell him to stop it.
‘It’s been a while, hasn’t it?’ he said at last. ‘You know what I think – you were looking for somehar, and you chose me. Just how long has it been, Mima?’
She stared at him directly, took a deep breath. ‘Since forever. My inception went wrong, because the hara who incepted me left me behind, before it was completed. My friends found me and healed me, but I’ve never taken aruna, Chelone. That is the problem.’
He’d gone white. ‘I see. Then… how…?’
‘There are ways,’ she said. ‘Use your imagination.’
‘Why me? Why now?’
‘Because I don’t know you,’ she said. ‘Because you’re not so damned concerned about me. Because, with you, I have no past. And also, because I like you a lot too. Will that do?’
He looked uncertain.
‘Was I supposed to ask first, or something?’ she said. ‘If so, I’m sorry. This isn’t the big responsibility you think it is. Really.’
‘You don’t have to ask. You just took me by surprise, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting it.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘I will be honoured.’
Mima took a deep breath, wondered why she was having difficulty focusing on his face. ‘I have only one requirement.’
‘Which is?’
‘We both get drunk first.’
When he took her to his apartment in the barracks complex, Mima was aware her life might be in danger. She had shared breath successfully, but there was no proof that his essence couldn’t kill her. Why am I willing to take this risk? she thought. Because it had to be done. She couldn’t go on unless she knew. If she was a freak and an accident, then maybe she’d be better off dead, but if she was something else, and proved it, then she could live fully and happily.
She made him turn out the lights, because she didn’t want him inspecting her too closely. He held her naked on his bed and his strongly beating heart made her body vibrate. His breath smelled of alcohol and his hands were hot. She wilted beneath the heat of him. He put his fingers inside her and ignited five fires, one by one. ‘The soume aspect is strong in you,’ he said.
She didn’t answer, trying so hard not to break her teeth, because her jaw was clenched tight. Reality was breaking down all around her. She was the earth and a great mountain was thrusting up from the soil. It made a sound like the heavens cracking. There was no pain, only a sense of something immense occurring, like the birth of a world or a universe. She was not in her own body any more. The mountain would erupt and hot lava would cascade down its sides, perhaps bringing death. The earth might be scorched, or might bear it. The earth might be stronger than the mountain. The fires inside her became volcanoes. She was erupting too and the whole world was flame. For a moment, she opened her eyes, expecting reality, but it had gone. This was no vision. It was real. She was looking upon an alien place so bizarre she could not identify the objects around her. The air was like glass and it had begun to splinter. She felt a rush of heat within her and thought that if these were to be her final moments, she must live them in the steam of his breath. She pulled his mouth towards her, sucked in his scream of repletion and the universe shattered around them with a mighty crash. A wind that smelled of nothing Mima had ever smelled before seared over them. She felt it move her hair.
Chelone collapsed onto her heavily, his breathing laboured. She was alive. Was she starting to burn up? No. If anything, she felt cool now. The room had reappeared, all the normal things like chairs and lamps, and clothes strewn on the floor.
Chelone raised his head. ‘I don’t know what happened to you in the past,’ he said, ‘but you just took me to a very weird place. I thought we were dying. I thought we’d just shatter and disappear.’
‘We nearly did,’ Mima said. ‘Isn’t that normal?’
‘No. No.’ He rolled off her. ‘It felt to me like we left this world. What are you, Mima?’
‘I don’t know,’ she replied. ‘Nohar does.’
Mima knew she should return to the boat now, because Flick and the others would be beside themselves with terror for her, but before