Seel reciprocated his feelings. Who can tell? He is prominent in both the House of Parasiel and Immanion now. He hasn’t come out of it badly at all.’
‘You know I lived with him once?’
‘I kind of gathered, yes. You were the cause of some pretty meaty gossip at Shadetide.’
‘Well, there’s one thing you should know, which may be useful when you return to Forever,’ Flick said, ‘and that is that Seel has been in love with Cal since they were human. He was jealous of Pellaz even before Pell became har. And you say that Swift was close to Cal too? Draw your own conclusions. Seel professes to hate Cal, but he’s just furious because Cal isn’t interested in him. Whatever Seel says to the contrary, don’t believe a word of it.’
Leef laughed. ‘I’ll remember that.’
Flick took a deep breath. ‘I can’t believe I’ve just been so catty, but it felt really good.’
Leef reached out and briefly clasped his arm. ‘I didn’t hear anything bad, I just heard the truth.’
The cabin was larger than the last one they’d stayed in, and had two bedrooms as well as a main living area. Chelone built fires in all three rooms and by the time they sat down to eat the place was quite homely and cheerful. Flick was strongly aware that he must remember this time, because it was another important moment. It was, perhaps, the lull before the storm. They did not know where Tel-an-Kaa was taking them. They had no idea whether the Gelaming would come after them or not. Tel-an-Kaa had assured them they’d find peace in the east, but Flick could not be sure of that.
To some extent, the alcohol and the warmth banished Flick’s anxiety and fear. For some hours, it was possible simply to be, with no future and no past. Leef sat beside him, on the floor before the stove, and when he took Flick in his arms to share breath, Flick didn’t pull away. He could feel Lileem’s curious scrutiny, Mima’s hot discomfort and Tel-an-Kaa’s somewhat weary resignation. Across the room, Chelone was running his fingers through Ulaume’s hair, and when Flick glanced at them for a moment, he was sure he saw that hair slowly lifting and falling of its own accord. Perhaps it needed the caresses to remember itself once more. Ulaume sat cross-legged, with his head thrown back, basking in the attention. It would only be a matter of time before Chelone leaned forward to kiss the column of his throat. For a moment, Flick felt sad for Mima, but wasn’t this the way hara were supposed to be, giving of each other unconditionally? Whatever she was, Mima was not har. She could never be part of something like this.
Leef took Flick’s hand and said, ‘Shall we go to the other room?’
‘It might be best,’ Flick said, and Leef laughed softly.
As they passed Chelone and Ulaume, Chelone looked up and caught Leef’s eye. Leef made a discreet gesture. Flick saw Chelone glance at Mima and back to Leef. Some unspoken dialog was going on here.
In the bedroom, Leef said, ‘Chelone wants to help Mima, but he’s afraid. He thinks maybe we could help him together.’
‘I don’t think…’ Flick began, but Leef didn’t want to hear it. He was drunk with desire and it was infectious.
Flick thought that maybe it would all work out fine, maybe this was what was meant to be, but in the event, he need not have concerned himself about it. When Chelone and Ulaume joined them in the bedroom, they were alone.
Chapter Twenty Six
Mima realised that the worst pain in the world was having to watch someone you wanted desire someone else. From the moment Chelone had turned up with the others at the oak tree, a maelstrom of conflicting feelings had consumed her. From that point on, her entire being had been absorbed in fantasising conversations and possible outcomes, none of which had come to pass. She couldn’t bring herself to look Chelone in the eye, but had spent a lot of time gazing longingly at his lean back.
Jealousy and misery filled her up when she realised that Chelone planned to spend the night with Ulaume. It was so unfair. He’d cast her off as if she was something repellent, and maybe she was to him now, but at one time, he’d liked her. Then, the moment had come, after Leef and Flick had left the room, when Chelone just turned to her and spoke her