we are. If I can ease the pain, I will. It’s all I can offer.’
‘I should not be here,’ Terez said. ‘I should be with the one who was waiting for me.’
Ulaume had expected many responses: anger, confusion, resentment, fear and hatred. But not this. He realised now that Terez had been a willing convert to Wraeththu, perhaps having thought about it for a long time after Pell had left with Cal. Had Mima known this? Was this why she had dragged him away from those who’d incepted him? The situation was far more complicated than Ulaume had thought, and it was not the kind of thing he enjoyed dealing with. If anything, it was Flick’s territory.
‘It has to be you,’ Terez said abruptly. ‘Not the other one. You. It is my choice.’
‘Don’t do that,’ Ulaume said. ‘Don’t listen in. That’s one of the first rules.’
‘I’ve been listening for a long time,’ Terez said. ‘I have heard many things and soon I will know what they mean.’ He glanced at Ulaume. ‘You wish you had not done this thing, and you wish you could walk away now. If you were meant to do this, you don’t want to, but you care about what the others think. You care what Pellaz thinks, because he thinks badly of you.’
Ulaume stood up. ‘That’s enough.’
‘I know what you all wanted,’ Terez said in a chilling monotone. ‘I would be mad and you would play with me, like you play with a sick animal. You would lead me from room to room and feed me and comfort me. You did not want me to be what I am. I was never mad, Ulaume, just lost. I forgot how to live in this vehicle of flesh, but I will remember. It survived without me for a time, and now it needs my attention because it has not cared for itself.’
‘Where were you?’ Ulaume asked.
‘In this world, there are no words to describe it, although of all of them here, you would be the most likely to understand it. It is why you are here now, but don’t be afraid. I won’t take you back there.’
‘I could walk from this room,’ Ulaume said. ‘I have no obligation to you. If I did, would you go back to that dark place?’
‘I will not go back,’ Terez said. ‘You will give me what I need.’ His eyes grew wider and they were completely black. ‘Look at me. There are things in me you desire. I slept beside Pellaz every night of my life, from the moment I left my mother’s breast until he went away. You want to see through my eyes, hear my stories of the past. Give me your essence, Ulaume, and this flesh will look more how you want it to look. I am happy to indulge your fantasies.’
Ulaume had unconsciously moved back until he was pressed against the door. The creature before him now was more horrific than the thing he’d stumbled across in the Cevarro house. It was intelligent and powerful and determined. It was like a dark Pellaz, not evil certainly, but possessed of knowledge that Pell had never had.
‘You are rarely afraid,’ Terez said, unwinding his long body from the bed like a black cobra. He could move quickly, and in that too he was like a snake. In an instant, his hands were on Ulaume’s face, powerful head-splintering energy pouring from his fingers. His skin smelled like bitter chocolate. ‘Listen,’ Terez said.
He put his mouth against Ulaume’s own, and Ulaume tensed himself for some kind of terrible fight, but Terez poured into him a series of images from the past. He could smell the cable as the seed pods burst in the fields. He could hear Pell’s laughter as he ran towards the sunset. Thunderclouds swept over the cordillera and white tailed deer fled before a storm. Pellaz crouched before him, surrounded by blue stem grass and the spikes of agave. His loose shirt was very white in the strange storm-light and his hair very black. His eyes were full of humour. There was no guard there, no caution or judgement. This was the Pellaz of whom Ulaume had once dreamed. Pellaz said, ‘I think, if we try hard enough, we could change the weather.’
Terez broke away and Ulaume put his hands against his eyes. He wanted to pull Terez back to him, because the vision had been so real.
‘You would do anything to see him again,’ Terez said, ‘and you