me.’
‘Indeed not. Every har is unique. And we are far from other hara here. You might not hear or feel others because of that. We don’t know. But you have me, and I will be with you for as long as you need.’
‘I know,’ Lileem said. ‘But the girl, he – she – is like me. When I saw her, I felt it. I knew her.’
Ulaume did not respond immediately. He thought about the differences from normal hara he had noticed in the harling’s body. Could it be possible it was not something that would change as Lileem developed? Perhaps this was the reason Lileem had been exposed in the desert. Could a har give birth to a female child? But Lileem was clearly not human, because he grew so quickly and was weirdly wise. A Wraeththu female? Impossible, surely.
‘Tell me the quiet things aloud,’ Lileem whispered. ‘Please, Lormy. Tell me. What is the scared feeling when you look at me sometimes? Why does my hostling weep and why aren’t I with him?’
Ulaume uttered a groan and kissed Lileem’s head. ‘I want you to be happy,’ he said. ‘Happy and free. I don’t want you to worry or be afraid.’
‘I am happy and afraid,’ Lileem said. ‘I want to know.’
‘Your head is a thousand years old,’ Ulaume said. ‘All right. But I can stop at any time. Just put a finger to my lips.’
Lileem only reached out and touched Ulaume’s mouth when the story was finished. He gently traced the shape of Ulaume’s lips with his fingers. Ulaume could feel him trembling. ‘You see,’ he said. ‘There is only me.’
‘What have we discovered?’ Ulaume murmured and drew the harling close to him held him tight. ‘Oh Leelee, I don’t know. I don’t know.’
They slept for a couple of hours, then Ulaume went downstairs to prepare some breakfast. He couldn’t help glancing around him continually, sure he would catch a glimpse of the strange girl, but she was nowhere around. In daylight, it was hard to believe he’d actually seen her.
Lileem came trailing into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. He yawned and started poking around at the eggs Ulaume was preparing, rolling the empty shells beneath his fingers. ‘I came from something like that,’ he said.
‘In a way,’ Ulaume said. ‘Sit down.’
Lileem perched on a chair. ‘When Pellaz died, he cried out to all the world,’ he said.
Ulaume froze. ‘The girl told you that?’
‘No. I heard it. In my warm place where I was curled up.’
‘He died the moment your pearl was born, I think.’
Lileem nodded. ‘Yes, but I’m not him. You just thought that, didn’t you?’
Ulaume smiled, surprised to find he was not as unnerved by that remark as he perhaps should be. ‘I know you’re not him, Leelee. But you’re quite the little oracle, aren’t you? I never realised how much. Also, I should tell you it’s rude to pry into people’s thoughts. Don’t do it unless you really have to.’
‘You heard his cry too,’ Lileem said. ‘It was a big wind that swept around. It was inside me when we went through the desert, and I didn’t know what it was. Now I do.’
‘Is the girl his sister?’
‘You think she is.’
‘What do you think?’
‘Don’t know. I’ll ask her.’
Ulaume continued to beat eggs. He was aware he must proceed carefully. ‘When, Lee?’
‘Don’t know.’
‘When do you see her?’
‘In the grey times, at morning and at night mostly. Then you call me in for breakfast or supper and she has to go.’
‘Where does she live?’
‘Don’t know.’
‘Perhaps you could ask her that as well.’
‘She won’t talk to you,’ Lileem said. ‘She thinks you’re like the others, who did the bad things. She wants to kill you, but I’ve told her not to.’
‘Thanks!’ Ulaume said, in a harsher tone than he meant to use.
‘I like the ‘she’ word, it’s soft,’ Lileem said wistfully. ‘Can I be she?’
‘Be what you like,’ Ulaume said. ‘It doesn’t matter. You are what you are, whatever that is.’
‘Two things, one thing!’ Lileem said and giggled loudly. ‘Two things, one thing. She he she he she he. I’m a she she she.’
‘That’s enough,’ Ulaume said. ‘It might change, Lee. We don’t know yet. Just be, and don’t get attached to one idea. There’s enough of that goes on among Wraeththukind, and it causes half the problems, I’m sure.’
After breakfast, Ulaume let Lileem go out alone into the gardens, hoping that the girl would show herself to the harling. He had no doubt she would not appear if he was