explanations that made little sense, but for the part that Flick had decided to seek out Pell’s family. What idiocy? Why was he doing this? It would achieve nothing, and might well be fatally dangerous. ‘You little fool,’ Seel said to the empty room. ‘This is what he wanted. Cal has won.’
Seel couldn’t face going out or telling anyhar that Flick had left him. He felt ashamed, as if he’d done something really bad. And he knew exactly what that was. His own harsh and indifferent words to Flick echoed round his head in an endless cruel mantra. Why had he taken out all his fear and bitterness on the one har who’d been there for him for the past few years? Why had he been so stupid? He had been careless. Cal had used this opportunity to worm his way into the hole in Flick and Seel’s relationship and sever the final ties. Seel also found it impossible to dispel the nagging doubt that Flick had known rather more about Orien’s death than he’d said. He didn’t think Flick had done anything wrong, but just that he’d covered up for Cal rather more than he’d needed to. He believed, deep in his heart, that Cal had told Flick something that terrible night. And Cal had pressed Flick to silence, perhaps for no other reason than to widen the yawning chasm between Flick and Seel.
Will we ever be free of him? Seel thought. How long will the spiteful reverberations of his hate linger?
For two days, Seel kept to the house, other than when he crept out to the stables to feed the animals. Sometimes, he considered saddling up his horse and riding off to find Flick, but he knew Flick would not want that. The letter was too final. He had turned his back on all that knew. He and Seel had never been chesna: ultimately, there had been little for Flick to walk away from and only an emptiness to bring him back to.
Seel ignored the heavy pounding on the door when Colt came to the house. Colt shouted through the door. ‘Are you all right, Seel?’
No, I most certainly am not, Seel thought, but hid in the kitchen anyway. He knew that very soon Colt would come back with others and break into the house, perhaps afraid that Seel was ill, dead or had gone mad. When Colt stomped away, Seel went out to the stables. This was his town: he couldn’t abandon or neglect it. He would have to face his friends and tell them the truth.
After allowing himself the luxury of cursing aloud the day that Pell and Cal had first come to Saltrock, Seel went back into the house, where he washed himself and changed his clothes. As he’d anticipated, Colt came back a couple of hours later, no doubt after protracted discussion. He had four other hara with him, who Seel could see from the bedroom window. Stringer was not with them, and Seel knew this was because Stringer was aware he needed time alone, for the blood to congeal, for the initial healing to take place. By this time, Flick’s absence would have been noticed and few hara would have drawn the wrong conclusions.
Seel uttered a single long sigh, then went down to open the door before Colt could damage it. He reflected that Colt had changed very little since he’d been incepted. He was still very much the macho type, in his own spiritual warrior way, and Seel had to admit that sometimes there was comfort in that. When Colt was around, hara felt safe.
‘I’m not dead, in case you were worrying,’ Seel said, as Colt came up the wooden steps to the porch.
Colt said nothing, waiting.
Seel folded his arms and leaned against one of the porch posts. ‘Flick’s gone,’ he said. ‘Walked out on me two days ago.’
Colt dropped his gaze from Seel’s, rubbed his chin, then said, ‘We thought so. I’ll find somehar to help you – you know, help with the house.’
‘OK,’ Seel said. ‘I’m helpless. I need feeding.’ The words were light, but his heart felt like damp clay. Stringer would be easier to talk to about this.
‘The dust will settle,’ Colt said in a determined tone. ‘This is the last of it, Seel. We can carry on.’
‘I know,’ Seel said, ‘but you still have Stringer.’
Colt looked embarrassed. ‘Come over to our place,’ he said. ‘Eat with us.’
As Seel walked away, surrounded by those whose best interests lay