Lileem’s rampant curiosity was often a blessing. She began to undress and Ulaume said, ‘Come on, Flick, take part. I can give Lileem a biology lesson with you as the subject for dissection.’
‘Thanks,’ Flick said.
Never could Flick have imagined that one day he’d be lying on his back, legs spread, while someone described his parts and their functions to someone who’d never seen anything like them before. Lileem explained to Ulaume what had happened to her and Ulaume said, ‘When the soume-lam is stimulated, it can bite, believe me! It has five energy centres within it, almost like five clitorises. Humans would have loved to possess such a thing. It often has a mind of its own, more so than the ouana-lim, which is a bit of a reversal to the way things used to be with humans. The ouana-lim itself is refined as a male organ, and much improved. I can vouch for it.’
‘It’s quite pretty,’ Lileem said, pointing at Flick. ‘I saw the pictures of humans and they were scraggy.’
‘As you can see, we do have organs similar to testicles, but they are smaller and can be withdrawn into the body during aruna and I expect during birth. You can push them up yourself, like this.’
‘Have you quite finished!’ Flick said, flinching. ‘This is a bit much.’
‘OK, let’s have a look at you,’ Ulaume said to Lileem.
‘I’m not the same, not quite,’ she said shyly, sitting down.
Ulaume gently pushed her back and parted her knees. ‘Hmm. That’s interesting. Flick, what do you think?’
The soume-lam looked normal, but the ouana-lim was less developed than in a normal har and she had vestigial seed sacs. Her body was slightly wider around the hips than a normal har’s and there was still the suggestion of breasts upon the chest. ‘She’s not completely female,’ Flick said, ‘but the male side of things does appear to be underdeveloped.’
‘I think,’ Ulaume said, moving away, ‘that you are har, Lee, but you have physical abnormalities, like a birth defect.’
‘Oh,’ Lileem said, sitting up again and clasping her knees. ‘So, what does that mean for me?’
‘I think it means we need to know more. Try stimulating the soume-lam yourself and see what happens. I don’t think we should rush into anything, because you’re still so young.’
‘But Rofalor says feybraiha happens when harlings are six or seven,’ Lileem said, ‘so doesn’t that mean I’m more than old enough?’
‘Your feminine aspects are dominant,’ Ulaume said. ‘Hara don’t have breasts, but you do, even though they’re small.’
‘You said once that some hara do. I remember.’
‘I know, but it’s not the same. In humans, some men had quite fleshy chests and in hara it’s no more than that. Your body is also more female-shaped than ours. I don’t think we should take risks. If feybraiha is upon you, and you need aruna, you must try to do it yourself.’
‘Oh.’ For a moment, she appeared almost crestfallen, then she grinned. ‘I’m glad we did this. I feel so much better. There are no secrets now.’
‘But for Mima’s,’ Flick said. ‘I wonder if she is the same.’
Mima was back on the boat by morning, but reluctant to speak to anyone. Flick could tell she was suffering and eventually could bear her silence no longer. She was sitting alone on the prow and he went to sit beside her. ‘It’s no big thing, Mima. Forget it.’
‘Did you find out what you needed to know?’
‘Yes, I think so. There’s no doubt in my mind that Lee is harish rather than human, but just that she has certain abnormalities. Ulaume called them birth defects. I think he’s right.’
‘I’m not like you,’ Mima said. ‘I can’t be blasé about this. I’m not even like Lee, who has no feelings of shame or guilt. I don’t have Wraeththu innocence.’
‘We are not innocent,’ Flick said, ‘don’t ever look on it like that.’
‘Does she still want to be called ‘she’?’
‘She hasn’t mentioned it. The female aspect is very strong in her though.’
‘I don’t,’ Mima said. ‘I don’t want to be what I am. If I have to be alive, I want to be like you, but I’m not.’
‘How do you know?’
‘It won’t work with me,’ Mima said. ‘Forget it. I don’t have things happen to me like Lee did. I’m dead in that way.’
‘Well, if you ever want to talk about it…’
‘Don’t patronise me, Flick. I’m sorry I went off like that last night, but it’s just so hard for me.’
‘Be at rest,’ Flick said. ‘We are heading into