round one evening, she tried to answer some of Lileem’s queries about it. They were sitting out in the yard, with a group of friends, including Terez and Ulaume. Flick, as usual, was absent.
‘The Mountain Walker is our male aspect,’ Tel-an-Kaa said, ‘and we only let him out fully at certain times. He is the scent of growing things, the scent of the earth. He is the creatures that live upon it. He is the creative principle, the seed sower. He is ouana.’ She grinned. ‘I must stop talking about this. I have a strong urge to carry you off to bed now.’
‘Well, we could do that,’ Lileem said coquettishly, wholly aware of Terez sitting somewhere nearby, although she would not look at him.
‘Unfortunately,’ Tel-an-Kaa said, ‘kind though the offer is, I have work to do tonight and must go to Kalalim shortly. But…’ She winked at Lileem. ‘…on the festival night, I intend to be off duty completely.’
Everyone laughed then, and Mima said, ‘OK, can I make a date with someone now please? Otherwise, it seems I’m going to be moping round alone that night!’
‘No chance of that!’ a parage said, conjuring more laughter.
They had all spoken quite frankly in front of Terez, who might now be wondering why the Roselane only let their male sides out at certain times of year. There was an excited expectant atmosphere in the yard, and Lileem wished parazha could be like this more often. Perhaps an enterprising parage could begin to make changes in Shilalama.
Most of their guests stayed late, and dawn was approaching as Mima and Lileem said goodbye to the last of them and began carrying empty cups and bottles into the house. Lileem went back outside to fetch more and saw that Terez was sitting very close to Ulaume, his hand on Ulaume’s shoulder. Ulaume was hunched up, his head hanging low. Terez whispered something in Ulaume’s ear and Ulaume jumped to his feet, crying, ‘No!’ He virtually knocked Lileem over as he pushed past her into the house.
Lileem went to gather up the cups around Terez’s feet. ‘Whatever you just suggested was a bad idea,’ she said.
Terez shrugged. ‘It’s ludicrous that he’s here, all miserable, while Flick is out doing whatever he pleases. He should loosen up a bit. Give Flick something to be jealous for.’
‘He’s not jealous of you.’
‘That’s not what I’ve heard.’
‘Then don’t make it any worse.’ She dared to look Terez in the eye then and saw at once he was very drunk. ‘Go to bed.’
He stood up, unsteadily. ‘Is that an order, tiahaar?’
‘Yes. Go on. Don’t cause any more trouble.’
Terez laughed and grabbed hold of her. ‘What? Like this?’
She held his gaze. ‘No, I don’t call this trouble.’
She couldn’t help herself. She just put down the cup she was holding and embraced him in return. Sharing breath with him was like inhaling the scent of burning black flowers. She wanted to suck the breath from his lungs. She wanted to suck out his life.
He broke away from her lips and inhaled deeply. ‘Now I’m seeing stars,’ he said. ‘You’re hungry.’
‘So are you. You’re not getting much, are you?’
Terez laughed, still holding her tight. ‘The Roselane are not exactly to my taste, but… well, there’s been the occasional fumble. What’s your excuse?’
Lileem kissed his cheek. ‘Can you feel it? We both want to be ouana. Now how about that? How do you sort that out?’
‘Lee, you are shocking,’ he said. ‘Mima would kill me.’
‘Only if you killed me,’ Lileem said. Reluctantly, she let him go. ‘Never mind that. Just go to bed and tomorrow this will seem like a dream.’
He pulled her hair playfully. ‘One I’ve had before.’
After he’d gone into the house, Lileem danced on the spot for over a minute.
Lileem knew that on the festival night, whatever plans others might have for her, she was going to take aruna with Terez. Like Mima had been in the past, she was driven and certain. She did not fear death, because she felt more than capable of dealing with any consequences. Lileem was far more experienced than Mima had been when she’d taken aruna with Chelone. If things got out of hand, Lileem was sure she could deal with it. What she couldn’t deal with was the unbearable longing to be close to Terez. If she didn’t do something about it, she’d go mad.
For the next few days, she paid him scant attention, all the while conscious of his puzzlement and confusion. She could feel