lake and found that Tyson was still sprawled there on his back, smoking his pipe. She didn’t know how long she’d been away.
‘What have you been doing?’ Tyson asked her. ‘Weird sounds.’
‘I’ve been communing with gods,’ Lileem said.
Tyson sniggered. ‘Still want smoke?’
‘No, I think you heard I’ve had more than enough tonight.’
Tyson was silent for a moment, puffing on his pipe. Lileem heard its stem tap against his teeth. Then he said, ‘I don’t have to be like him, do I?’ It wasn’t a question; it was a revelation.
‘No,’ Lileem said. ‘You don’t. I don’t know your hostling, but I know Pell. He’s OK, really. It wasn’t his fault, what happened. They had their tragedy, and it was big. I can’t see the sense of making it bigger.’
Tyson laughed softly. ‘Yeah.’
‘You should talk to Pell. It might help you both.’
Tyson sat up. ‘Cobweb has got this stuff that makes you feel better. If you had some of that you could drink some more. Want me to fetch some?’
Lileem hiccupped, and her throat burned. ‘That might be good.’
‘OK, wait here.’ He stood up, hesitated. ‘What’s the deal with you?’
‘I’m not human,’ Lileem said.
‘Thought so,’ Tyson said. ‘Won’t be long.’
Lileem sat and stared at the water that lapped at the banks. She could see the ghostly outlines of some kind of folly across the lake. This was a really good place. Her fist was still closed around a handful of dust. She imagined Terez coming to her, how she wouldn’t hear him approach, but would know when he was there. She wouldn’t turn to him or say anything. He would hunker down beside her and for some time they would be silent. She would be able to smell him. She remembered that scent so well. What would there be to say, really? The fact that he had come to her would be enough.
Lileem sighed deeply. Terez was a Gelaming noble now, groomed and elegant. He’d had other hara since her. She knew he didn’t share her feelings, although she didn’t blame him for it. She just couldn’t have what she wanted in this world. But there was another life, another world. In that place, she would never experience love, but as she couldn’t in her own reality either, that didn’t really matter.
I can have knowledge there, she thought, and the wheeling skies, and the suns, and the mighty waters. I want to explore it more fully, immerse myself in it without responsibility to any other. I want to let it change my being.
There were no soft footsteps on the path behind her, no familiar scent. Instead, she heard Tyson returning to her, humming beneath his breath. He sat down beside her and threw a small glass bottle into her lap.
‘Here, drink that.’
‘Open it for me,’ Lileem said. She still held tightly the dust in her hand.
Tyson picked it up, unscrewed the top and held it to her lips. His skin, so close to her, smelled like burned spice. She drank the bitter fluid and even the burning trail it left in her throat made her feel slightly better.
‘Cobweb is a powerful witch,’ Tyson said. ‘The things he brews up can kill or cure in seconds.’
Lileem laughed, swallowed with difficulty.
‘What are you, then?’ Tyson asked her.
‘Har,’ she said, ‘but also different. I look like this because I work with the Zigane. We search for human refugees.’
‘I know,’ Tyson said. ‘Why are you angry? Didn’t you want your friend to be with Azriel?’
‘No, it’s not that,’ Lileem said. ‘Private stuff. Unfinished business. Rubbish, really.’
Tyson took hold of her free hand and immediately it felt as if her flesh started to sizzle. She could pull away now, if she wanted to.
‘Forget it,’ he said. ‘Why should Azriel and Aleeme have all the fun?’
He put a hand upon her face and drew her to him. This was so dangerous. She didn’t want to harm him. But already, she could hear the faint murmur of a distant sea. The sparks of spiralling stars fizzed in her hair. She put her mouth against his. His lips were beautiful and his essence was the dark roar of stormy skies. Her being was so attuned to the otherworld, merely the sharing of breath was enough to take her there.
She was out of her body looking down and saw them together in the clear moonlight. She saw them become enshrouded in a shifting pearly essence. A portal was opening around her, and she must be strong enough to step through it