watch.
Since she’s come back, I’ve noticed that she’s often in her own head thinking a thousand different thoughts that she isn’t sharing with the world. However, I’ve witnessed her truly letting go a few times to the point that her smile lights up her eyes. I saw it on the pitch at Tower Park, cooking with my nonna…and right now.
I’m sensing a theme.
“Where do Mac and Freya think you are tonight?” I ask as we begin walking to the pizza place I suggested for dinner.
“Catching up with an old friend.” Tilly glances at me out of the corner of her eye. “Although Freya knows the truth.”
I eye her curiously. “She does?”
Tilly shrugs. “It just…came out. I’ve really adapted nicely to the concept of a sister. She’s loads easier to talk to than Mac.”
“I see,” I reply, feeling pleased that she’s talking about me. “And you don’t think she’ll tell her husband?”
“She said it’s my news to tell, not hers.”
“Are we news?” I lace my fingers with hers and give it a hearty squeeze.
“I think it remains to be seen if we turn into official news, don’t you?” She glances at me with an adorably pensive look.
“I’d say things are off to a very good start.” I lift her hand and twirl her, not missing a step on our walk.
Tilly laughs. “You seem so secure in everything. I’m just not there yet. I think you and I have to get to know each other again. I mean…with our previous rules and all of that, this really is all new to us.”
This remark makes my brows furrow. “We’ve spent hours on the phone over the past couple of days. You don’t feel like that’s us getting to know each other?”
“I do. I just…feel like I have to get used to the new you. If you would have told me five years ago you make sauce with your nonna, I would have been like…mind blown.” She punctuates the comment with the hand gesture.
“Ouch.” I stare forward, trying to ignore the hit to my apparent fragile ego.
“Sorry,” she wraps her free hand around my arm. “There’s no way you had a great past impression of me either.”
I huff out a dry laugh. “I do actually.”
She frowns up at me. “Seriously?”
“Yes.” I pull my arm free to wrap around her shoulders. “You were challenging and outspoken, and you always knew exactly what you wanted, from a drink to a sexual position. You were motivated and brave and bold.”
“I was drunk,” she murmurs, shaking her head in disgust. “The booze made me brave.”
“Bollocks,” I scoff. “You were brave with my mother at dinner the other night. Asking her pointed questions about being a teen mother. Most people don’t do that.”
She puzzles up at me. “Isn’t that a bad thing?”
“Not for me,” I state defiantly. “I like your honesty. It’s what I grew up with, so it feels right to me. And don’t forget,” I glance behind us to make sure no one is walking nearby as I lean in and whisper, “when we were shagging, you were never fully pissed. I made sure of that.”
Tilly groans and covers her face. “Those stupid sobriety tests you used to make me do when I’d show up at your flat at all hours of the night were awful.”
“Awfully brilliant.” My shoulders shake as I fight back a laugh. “They were like free entertainment. I really was an arrogant arsehole back then.”
“You were.” She sighs heavily. “But you had some redeeming moments. I wish more men would have been like you.”
My stomach twists because the more she puts me on a pedestal, the worse it will feel when I tell her about my past. That is, if I tell her about my past. I’ve spent the past few years hoping to meet a woman I would want to share this personal detail about myself with, but it’s too soon to know if Tilly is that woman yet. She feels like she could be. This feels like the start of something ten times more real and honest than any of my past relationships. Maybe it’s because we have history. Or maybe it’s because Tilly is and always has been special.
Either way, I need to get my head on straight and keep taking things slow. Overwatering a plant can kill it just as easily as underwatering. And I may not deserve this second chance, but I’m going to do everything I can not to fuck it up.
“Okay, now touch the heel of