hallway.
“Yes, he’s gone and I’m bursting at the seams, literally.” She points at her belly. “What happened yesterday?”
My eyes flare. “A lot more than I expected.” I take a sip of my tea.
“Oh my God, you shagged him,” she exclaims, slapping her hand on the table. Hercules jumps at the noise and shoots me a glower like it’s my fault his mummy is excited.
“I didn’t shag him.” I run my hands through my hair nervously.
“You didn’t?” She looks disappointed.
“We’re…taking it slow, I think?”
Freya’s brows pinch together. “Okay…but you’ve already had the sex before so what does that mean exactly?”
“Well, it’s kind of weird because he asked me to be…” I cringe as I prepare myself to say the words. “Be exclusive.”
“What?” Freya squeals at a high pitch, and like a shot, Hercules flies out of her arms and flops onto the floor, taking a swing at poor, unsuspecting Jasper before darting off. Jasper looks completely unaffected as he licks his paw and rubs his ear. “You’re exclusive already? How did that happen?”
“I don’t know.” I grip my mug tightly. “I showed up at his house, and his whole family was there making sauce—his mum, his grandparents and step family. They pulled me in to help, and the day was just so nice and normal. And I guess I sort of felt like I was seeing Santino for the first time, you know? He has a basil plant on his balcony!”
“Shut up!” Freya cries out again, just as intrigued as I was by that fact. “What kind of single man grows plants on a balcony?”
I shrug. “Hot ones, I guess.”
She nods knowingly. “Very hot.”
“And when I made a move to kiss him—”
“You made the first move?” Freya squeals again. “Good God, this is reaching Bridgerton levels of hotness! You know, I think watching Bridgerton while pregnant was a bad idea. These pregnancy hormones are causing me to have the most sensual dreams of my entire life. I should have stuck to Heartland. Horses are much less sexually inspiring.”
My nose wrinkles. “Well, I should hope so.”
She sighs. “But…I do love ponies.” She looks forlorn and then shakes away that thought. “Anyways, I’m so proud of you and your Scottish lady balls!”
I laugh and shake my head. “Well, he stopped me just before I was going to kiss him and said something like, ‘I’d rather have you and know you’re mine, then have you and want you to be mine’.”
Her jaw drops. “I’ve just come.”
“Right?” My voice goes embarrassingly high at the end.
“So, let me get this straight.” Freya dunks her celery stalk into her dish of cream and points her finger at me. “You’ve been in London a month and you already have a boyfriend? If I wasn’t married and up the duff, I would truly loathe you.”
“He’s not a boyfriend.” I shake off that nerve-wracking thought. “It’s just…I don’t know. We’re dating, I guess? It’s going to be seriously complicated.”
“Why is that?”
I chew my lip nervously. “Well, we’re taking it slow because I haven’t slept with anyone since…” my voice trails off because it’s too hard to finish.
Freya’s hand moves protectively to her belly. “Since the miscarriage?”
I cringe as she states the word I hate the most. I hate it for so many reasons, but mostly, I hate it because I think I caused it. And that haunts me every day of my life.
“Oh Tilly.” Freya’s voice goes soft as she takes in my inner struggle.
She reaches out to touch my hand, but I pull it back quickly. “Don’t pity me, please. I hate pity. I’m good. I’m fine. I’m around you every day and not falling apart. I just…wasn’t ready to jump in the sack with him after…”
“Five whole years,” Freya states with wide eyes. “Makes sense. So, what did Santino say?”
“He said he was fine with it. He said taking it slow could be fun. We made out on his sofa for like an hour before I thought I should get home in case Mac was readying a search party.”
Freya sighs wistfully. “This sounds wonderful.”
I shrug. “I’m not getting my hopes up. I told Santino last night that I’m messy, and I will totally understand if he wants to cut and run.”
Freya shakes her head sadly at me. “Give yourself more credit, Tilly. You’ve done so much for yourself, and now you’re doing so much for me, and you’re accepting a big new job today. You’re far from messy. You’re annoyingly lovely if you ask me.”
“Thanks, Frey.” I muster