in that fight diminished my feelings for you. Did what I just tell you change your feelings for me?”
“No,” she gasps, looking horrified. Her eyes pin me with sincerity as she cups my face, forcing me to look into her eyes. “My God, Santino. Not even a little. How on earth could you ever think I would love you less after knowing that?”
Her question causes my body to unfurl a pain that I’ve buried deep inside me and desperately tried to ignore. A pain of not knowing how much of that monster actually lives inside me.
“I’ve struggled to shake this feeling of shame that I wasn’t created from an act of love…that my existence is because of a traumatic experience for my mum by the hands of a monster.” I lift my eyes to Tilly, a stinging in my nose as I add, “I know my family loves me, but they’re obligated to love me. That’s why after you left, I became determined to find a partner in life that could accept me knowing my full story. That felt like the only way I could ever forgive myself.”
Tilly inhales sharply, her eyes welling with tears as she sighs. “Oh, Sonny.”
I clear my throat. “Then when you and I got together again…and I…fell in love with you…” My voice trembles, and I have to take a deep breath in for strength. “The stakes suddenly became so much higher, and the idea that you could look at me with shame was a reality I was too terrified to face.”
Our eyes hold each other for a second before Tilly throws herself against my chest, cinching her arms around my neck as she shakes with emotion and mumbles against my shoulder, “Santino, you’ve got it all wrong.” She pulls back to look at me, and her tears cause my own to fall. Tears that I rarely shed. She swipes at my cheeks with her thumbs and adds, “I know what happened to your mum is awful, but don’t forget that your existence is the product of countless love stories before that. Nonno and Nonna, their parents before that, and their parents before that. All those love stories paved the way for your wonderful existence. I’m sorry that happened to your mother, but I’m happy you’re here, and nothing will ever change that.”
Her words have an instant effect, and I grab her behind the neck and kiss her firmly, harshly, desperately. I want to feel the weight of her, the reality of her, the comfort of her. I want to commit this moment to memory as our lips dance together.
My mother has said similar words to me, Nonno, Nonna too…even Bart. They’ve all told me that my existence is important and special. But coming from the woman I love. Coming from Tilly Logan, someone I can see spending my whole life with…it’s everything I’ve been searching for. She knows me now, body and soul, and I will do everything in my power to stay worthy of her.
I pull back, my breath shaky as I murmur against her lips, “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that, Tilly.”
Her fingers comb through my hair as she presses her forehead against mine. “I’ll say it to you every day. I’m amazed by you. You’ve carried this all on your own your whole adult life and if you think that story makes you any less perfect to me, you’re dead wrong.”
I hum with pleasure, feeling lighter, freer, and more at ease than I’ve ever felt. The corners of my mouth curl up as my eyes lift to hers. “I guess I’ll have to come up with another way to screw up. Don’t forget I’m quite jealous. If I see that Ronald bloke again, I’ll probably give him a good thrashing just for looking at you.”
“No, you won’t.” She giggles, and it sounds like a cross between a cry and a laugh. Her body trembles, and I hug her closely, relishing in the most wonderful feeling in the world. Her.
I kiss her forehead, my heart swelling as I add, “You know, if anyone is a white knight in this relationship, it’s you.”
She laughs into my chest. “I like the sound of that.”
“Of course, you do.” I tip her chin up to bring her lips to mine, dropping a featherlight kiss to her mouth before whispering, “You’ve saved me in ways you don’t even understand, Trouble.”
More tears slide down her cheeks as she replies, “I love you, Sonny.”
“I