love you too, Trouble.”
I wake to the sound of a faint buzzing that feels like it’s been going off for ages. Squinting, I glance at the clock to see it’s only six a.m. I set my alarm for six fifteen because today is my first day to work. The commute to Harrods Corporate will take me a solid hour, and I’ll have to drive back to Mac and Freya’s to get ready first. Luckily, my clothes are all pressed and ready to go, so I should be able to get to my new job well before my 9:30 a.m. introductory meeting.
Santino’s mobile stops buzzing on the nightstand, and the screen flashes, saying he’s missed two calls. I wonder who could be phoning him at this hour? My eyes are drawn to a piece of paper on Santino’s empty pillow:
Went out to grab us sustenance because I have no food here, and I want you well-fed for your first day at work. I’ll be back before you have to leave.
Love- Sonny
I smile and hold the note to my lips, inhaling it deeply like I can somehow get the essence of him off it. Yesterday was…a lot. Everything that transpired between Santino and me makes that insane baby shower seem like child’s play.
My God…what happened to his mother is awful. And watching a strong, virile man like Santino struggle with that truth, unsure if he’d ever find someone he could truly be open with about that had to be hard on him. And watching him last night as we talked about nothing and drifted off to sleep, I could sense a contentment in him that he’s never had before. He’s released a part of himself that held him captive for far too long. I count myself lucky to be the person to witness that change.
And then he just dropped all casually that he wants babies with me. Babies! My God. It feels like we’ve skipped several steps, but the fact that he’s looking at a long-term future with me is exactly what I want with him. So, I guess…babies!
I can’t wipe the smile off my face when Santino’s mobile starts buzzing again. I roll over to see that it’s his mother. I hate to answer his mobile, but she’s phoned three times, so maybe it’s important.
“Hello Carlotta, it’s Tilly…sorry, Santino’s just popped round to the shop and must have forgotten his mobile.”
“Tilly?” Carlotta’s voice is unsure. “You’re with Santino?”
“Yes, I’m at his flat. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is okay.” She hesitates for a second. “He’s not been taking my calls this week. I thought maybe trying him in the morning might work.”
“Oh, I see.” I swallow nervously. “Sorry about last weekend and just…everything. You must think I’m so rude.”
“No,” Carlotta rushes out. “I’m actually thrilled to discover you’re there. Does this mean you two are…okay?”
“We’re more than okay,” I reply, inhaling deeply. “We had a big talk last night and sorted everything out.”
“You did?” she asks, her voice unsure. “So he’s talked to you?”
“Yes,” I respond hesitantly, unsure if Santino even wants his mother to know I know, but I can’t help myself right now. I began my relationship with Carlotta by being honest and not tiptoeing around difficult subjects, and strangely, I can tell she appreciated that about me. “Can I just say thank you for raising such a wonderful son?”
“Um…okay?” She laughs, sounding a bit put off.
My throat tightens. “When I met you, I felt strangely connected to you, and after talking with Santino, I think I know why.”
“Why?” she asks breathlessly.
I steel myself to be brave to say this next bit. “I had someone take advantage of me about five years ago, and while I can’t begin to understand what you have endured, I will tell you that I fully understand how impossible it would have been for you to give up Santino.”
She inhales deeply, her breath trembling through the line as she replies, “It never even crossed my mind. He was something beautiful from something terrible, and I needed him to feel like that pain had a purpose.”
My eyes well with tears as I clear my throat to push away my own personal reaction to those words that hit me right in the gut. “I really do love your son.”
“And he loves you.” She inhales deeply. “I am certain of that now, and that gives me great comfort.”
Once we hang up, I exhale a breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding. Santino’s head suddenly pops around the corner,