It’s been like, a great fast. Like we are just catching up to where we should have been all along. But now I just…”
Something in my chest clenches as I frown, adjusting her position to face me. “Why does it sound like you’re trying to break up with me?”
“No.” She huffs, then slides from my lap and begins pacing the floor. “I don’t want to, but if you do I’d totally understand.” I shoot to my feet, confused. Why would she think I’d ever break up with her? I spent damn near my whole life trying to get us here.
“Xia,” I say firmly. She stops her pacing and turn toward me, tears falling from her lashes. I make it to her in two strides and pull her against my chest. “Just slow down, okay? Tell me what’s going on.”
Fear plays in her eyes when she looks up at me, blinking away her tears. “I think I’m pregnant.”
My body goes still as her words sink in. It takes a second, which is probably a second too long for her in this frantic state because she immediately starts bawling.
“Wait. No, no.” I hug her as her tears soak through my shirt. “Stop crying.”
I’m not sure what she says next because her words are muffled as she buries her face against me. Did she say pregnant? Did I hear that right?
“Pregnant, Zee? Are you sure?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “Well, maybe,” She walk back to the table and pulls a pregnancy test from the white bag. “I took one of these about an hour ago and it came back positive, so I went and got two more.”
I stare at her, my pulse racing. Somewhere in the back of my head there’s a voice telling me I’m not responding to this correctly but the shock of it is fucking with me. Her eyes are big as she stares, watching me stand there like an idiot. Then she snatches the other test from the bag and begins walking toward the stairs.
“I’m just going to test again. Maybe the first one was a defect. Maybe I read it wrong.”
I catch her arm before she slips down the hall and I turn her toward me.
“I need you to hear me, okay?” I say. She sniffles, nodding her head. “I don’t give a shit what the test says, all right? Pregnant, not pregnant, I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I’m in love with you. I don’t know if it’s possible to love you more, but if you are carrying my baby, I’m sure I’ll find a way.”
She pulls her lips tightly into her mouth and leans her head on my shoulder. My arms wrap around her again, warmth spreading through me as I rub her back. She exhales and after a few minutes, she begins to settle.
“It’s just… we didn’t plan this, Jordan. We aren’t even finished with college. And you, you’re so close to getting your dream job. How could a baby fit in?”
“It can. I get paid a little as Satchi’s assistant, but between my savings and my mother’s life insurance policy, we won’t need much. My dad will be covering my utilities at the lake house until I graduate, and I won’t be paying rent. You can come live with me and we can figure it out together.”
Her expression is unreadable. She searches my face, as if she’s trying to figure out if I’m serious or not. “I could work too,” she finally says. “But who would watch the baby while we go to school?”
“You don’t have to work if you don’t want. Like I said, money won’t be a problem right away and we know more than a few people at school who would love to make some extra cash babysitting if we end up having class at the same time. Plus, by the time the baby gets here I’ll be about to graduate. I’ll get a job, you can focus on school. It will work out.” I smile, meeting her gaze. “Now stop worrying. Go take the test, I'll go with you.”
A few minutes later we are standing in her bathroom. I'm leaning against the counter watching as she paces the tight space. The small plastic test sits under the mirror behind me. We agreed to look at it exactly at the three-minute mark together.
As she paces, she continues to mumble under her breath. Stuff about life and how horrible she'd look pregnant. There’s no calming her and her nervousness is starting