coming over here for long bubble baths.” I smile. Just as those words leave my lips, it all surfaces. I press my hand flat against my stomach as my nerves heighten. Suddenly, I begin seeing this house in an entirely different light. That small bedroom down the hall set up as a nursery. Baby bottles littering the counters in the kitchen. A large trashcan full of diapers and a basket of baby toys in the corner of the living room. This wasn’t our plan
My stomach lurches as I grip the sides of the toilet seat, retching as the little I’ve eaten comes back up. Tears run from my eyes by the time I finish and stumble over to the sink to wash my face, and though they started from the vomiting, they continue as I stare at myself in the mirror. I can’t be pregnant. I have two years of college left, my family is complete shit right now, and Jordan and I are so new. We are just exploring this. I consider Shana’s words and how it seems like we’ve been together longer, and she may have a point, but realistically it’s only been a month.
This is not how it was supposed to go. We were supposed to experience life, travel, continue to break the barriers of this friendship and let it turn into the love we’ve always craved. But now we’ll be looking at stress on our relationship. The struggle of being young parents. And it could totally tear us apart.
I know I have options, but even though the idea of becoming a mother right now terrifies me, I also know that I can’t bring myself to have an abortion. If this is happening, it will be my fate. I just hope to God it’s not happening.
“Hey, are you ready to go?” Jordan says coming up the hall. Reaching over, I flush the toilet and wipe my face clean of tears before opening the door and walking through the bedroom.
“Yeah,” I say, hoping he doesn’t realize I’ve been crying. “I guess it’s getting late.”
He stops in front of me, frustration in his eyes as he shakes his head and curses under his breath.
“What is it?”
He glares at me, swallowing hard.
“Tell me.”
“I think Felicia is setting me up and now I may be getting expelled from school,” he says
“ How?” I ask, my eyes widening.
“Somehow she got a copy of the midterm I was grading. It’s all bullshit. I figured Satchi would know me better but whatever. I’ll find out what happens tomorrow.” He turns away from me, starting down the hall.
I follow him down the stairs in shock, taking one final look at the large living room before we leave.
We pull up to the house and I grab my purse and open the car door. We rode in silence as I fought my tears. I don’t know where to start with all this. As I look at my front porch I’m reminded of the photograph. Should I call my father? Force my way into mother’s room, demand an explanation? Dread seeps into my gut and I’m halfway out the door before I realized Jordan’s car is still running.
“You aren’t coming?” I ask. His face is still as his eyes cut over to me.
“Not tonight,” he says. “I just need to be alone.”
I don’t know why this hurts my feelings. I can totally understand him needing to be alone and maybe I’m being selfish but I feel like I need him right now.
“Oh—okay,” I stammer, settling back in my seat.
“I’ll come over tomorrow after the meeting and let you know what happens,” he says, meeting my gaze. Leaning forward, he kisses my cheek before pulling away and looking up at his rearview mirror. I hesitate again before leaving, shutting the door behind me. He waits until I’m inside before speeding away from the house.
It’s still and quiet inside, so I immediately go upstairs and knock at my mother’s door.
“I’m home,” I say. “Are you awake?”
No answer.
I knock again and listen closely before looking down at my phone to check the time. It’s twelve fifteen a.m. Worry breaks through me and I wonder if she’s okay or just sleeping. I’m about to knock again, but I start to feel a little silly. It is after midnight. Maybe the stress of the day is making me paranoid. I stand by the door a few seconds longer before heading to my bedroom.
I’m slow to rise Monday morning, even with the blaring of